


Broken Pieces

by holmesinthetardis



Series: The Daughter of a Way [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Frerard, Ryden, gerard way's daughter - Freeform, petekey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-07-23 22:10:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7481811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holmesinthetardis/pseuds/holmesinthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>((Sequel to Shattered Memories))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Why? Why does that mean you have to leave? You told me the one thing in the world that’s keeping you sane right now is me. So why would you run away?”  
Nation kept walking down the moonlit street. Her suitcase dragged behind her as tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t turn around and face the man behind her. His voice was cracking and he struggled to take breaths as tears ran down his face. Chocolate eyes were red and puffy as Dan Howell watched his girlfriend walk away from her life, from him.  
He finally stopped walking after her and Nation had to stifle a sob.  
“I love you!” He shouted and Nation’s hand flew to her mouth as more tears cascaded like waterfalls down her pale cheeks.  
The Way still didn’t reply, only waved down a passing taxi. It came to a stop by her side and she went around to the back, placing her suitcase in the back of the cab. She slammed the trunk closed before going to open the door.  
A large, warm hand landed on top of hers causing her breath to hitch. It moved to her shoulder and spun her around, forcing her to look up at Dan. He sniffled and gave a weak smile before reaching out to brush away her tears. She moved her face away from his hand and a sob almost escaped his lips.  
“Please, don’t go,” He barely whispered.  
Hazel eyes met chocolate eyes. Dan’s look was pleading for her to stay, whilst Nation’s was pleading to let her go.  
“I’m sorry,” She whispered before turning away. She slid into the backseat of the cab and closed the door. The cab pulled away from the curb and Nation watched Dan’s receding form behind her.  
The cabbie looked at her in the rear view mirror. He didn’t bothering pressing the situation he just witnessed the end of. “Where to, miss?”  
“The nearest airport,” She replied flatly.  
He nodded, “where you headed to?”  
“To visit my brother.”


	2. Chapter 2

Nation walked slowly through cemetery. An umbrella rested on her shoulder, shielding her from the northern downpour of rain. What miserable weather for such a miserable day. She walked up the sidewalk before stopping at the right row of graves. She walked ever so carefully before standing in front of the familiar grave. She’d been here only once before and she regretted that fact deeply.  
Nation sniffled, whipping the tears from her cheeks before kneeling before the grave and running her fingers over the name.  
Link Frank Way Dec. 6th, 1998 – March 14th, 2013  
“Loving brother and son, huh,” Nation smiled to herself, “Couldn’t have come up with something better, Dads? Bandit’s would have been more entertaining than that.”  
Nation reached in her pocket and pulled out the black sharpie before eyeing the headstone in front of her.  
“I’ll tell you all how this story ends, where the good guys die and the bad guy wins. This ain’t about the friends you make but the graffiti they write on your grave,” Nation sang softly as she blocked the rain from getting on the headstone before using the sleeve of her jacket to dry it off. “Hope this isn’t illegal,” She mumbled to herself before carefully drawing the triforce symbol below Loving brother and son. She then wrote what she considered the highest respect.  
A true Way – a bringer of hope in the darkest of times  
Nation capped her sharpie as more tears threatened to spill out.  
“I’m sorry, Link. I was a shitty sister. I should have talked to you and Bandit more. I should have visited more often than I did. But, I also know that I shouldn’t be apologizing for this because I couldn’t help it and you’re, you know, dead so it’s not like you care anyway. It’s just,” Nation let out a sigh as she looked up at the cloudy sky. “I remember. I remember everything now. Apparently one drunken night, a bar fight, and a good slam to the head was all I needed…But I saw everything, I remember everything. Bandit screaming,” Nation took a heavy breath as she tried to calm herself down. “I heard your neck snap… your last words were holy shit. Funny really,” She chuckled dryly, “I thought those would be my last words.”  
Nation heard footsteps behind her, but she ignored then, assuming it was someone else visiting a passed friends of family member.  
“Nation,” A voice spoke from behind her.  
She froze at the sound of the voice. It was ever so gentle and ever so concerned. Nation stood to her feet and turned to see three people looking at her. Josh was wrapped in a raincoat and stood side by side with Tyler who held a small bouquet of yellow flowers with one hand and Jenna’s hand with the other.  
Nation sniffled quickly composing herself before speaking, “What you guys doing here?”  
“Same thing you are. It’s the 14th,” Tyler said before letting go of Jenna’s hand and placing the flowers on Link’s grave. His eyes lingered on the graffiti on the stone and a soft smile appeared on his face before he turned to Nation. He wrapped her into a tight hug, resting his head on top of hers.  
Nation wrapped her arms around his thin frame and held him close.  
“Where are you staying?” Josh asked after Nation pulled away from Tyler before pulling the drummer into a bone crushing hug.   
“This was kind of last minute, but I managed to get a room in a cheap hotel,” Nation told the blue hairs boy and he frowned.  
Josh shook his head, “We’ll stop at your hotel before heading home. You’re staying with me.” Nation tried to decline but he shook his head, “That’s final. I’d feel better if you stayed with me or Tyler and Jenna if you’d rather that.”  
Nation glanced towards Tyler and Jenna and wondered when Tyler moved out of his and Josh’s place. How much had she missed when she was living in London? She hadn’t talked to Josh and Tyler in months, let alone Jenna. She hadn’t talked to anyone except Dan. But, in truth, the only one she really told anything was herself in the bathroom mirror as she tried to keep her sanity.  
“Okay, okay. If it makes you feel better, Josh.”

**

“Here,” Josh said as he flicked on the light in Tyler’s old room. The walls were bare and the only thing left in the room was Tyler’s old bed. The same navy sheets were still neatly made. “Tyler moved out and got a place with Jenna a few months ago and G left a few weeks before Vessel came out. Lucky that Vessel took off, otherwise I’d be living with my mom again,” Josh joked as he set down Nation’s suitcase. He was polite enough to carry it up the stairs for her.  
“Wow, it’s so,” Nation breathed.  
Josh finished her sentence. “Empty.”  
“Yeah,” Nation spoke, “No sign Ty was here. Like at all. It’s not as homey.”  
“Homey, yeah I guess that’s the word,” Josh said as he examined the room. It was the first time he’d been in here since Tyler moved out. He missed the old polaroid photos taped to the wall around the window and the old posters barely holding onto their tape. Josh still felt like he had to watch his step, careful not to step on Ty’s latest work scattered across the floor. He missed his best friend. “Speaking of homey, why’d you leave London?”  
Nation grew silent, her eyes traveling to her beat up orange converse. Her raven hair fell in front of her face and a soft expression appeared across Josh’s face.  
“Don’t wanna talk about it then.”  
“No, no, it’s just,” Nation paused taking a deep breath before letting the lie fly from her lps, “I’m just not quite sure what made me leave I guess.”  
Josh nodded and watched as she made her way over to the twin size bed and slowly sat down. He then did the same, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side just like the good old days. She leant into his embrace and smiled to herself at the memory of the first time she left tour after she met them.  
“Hey, Josh, remember the first time I left for tour after meeting you and Ty?”  
Josh suddenly perked up, nodding excitedly. “We slept on like a cloud of pillows. Then Frank came and got you the next day while we were eating Poptarts.”  
‘Yeah,” Nation smiled with a laugh, “Remember when Tyler and I stayed up all night once to master guitar hero?”  
“That was sick! I didn’t know you remember all of that,” Josh smiled excitedly.  
Nation chuckled, “Neither did I. It sort of just came to me.”  
You’re just full of lies today, aren’t you?  
Nation swallowed hard before glancing at the time on her phone. “I think I’m gunna get to bed. Jet lag, you know?”  
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Josh said before turning his head to press a kiss to her temple before standing up. “Night, Nation.”  
“Night, Josh.”  
He gave her a bright smile before exiting the room, closing the door behind him. Nation let out a sigh as she leant back onto Tyler’s old bed and stared at the swirling ceiling above her. The sheets still smelled like Tyler, to the point that she was convinced they always would.  
“Why now?” Nation mumbled to herself. “Of all times, why now… why everything?”  
She hopped off the bed to get changed into something more comfortable when she heard the crackle of paper. Her brow furrowed as she remembered Ty’s habit of hiding his notebook underneath his mattress. She blindly reached her hand beneath the mattress and felt around until her hand touched the side of an old composition notebook. She pulled it out and chuckled at Tyler’s hand writing across the front.  
My Fren  
Nation knew the possibilities if Tyler found out she had this, but she also knew Tyler never left something behind without a purpose. She flipped it open to the first page before gently sitting back down. Her eyes scanned the page with ease.  
March 18th, 2013

Dear Nation,  
It’s been a few days since the accident and Josh and I have had to sit back and let your family try and help you. It’s against everything I stand for to sit back and just watch while you’re in need. You’re my best friend and I love you, yet you barely remember me.  
Everyone’s freaking out, wondering just how much you remember and if your memories will ever come back. I don’t care though. I just want to sit up on the roof with you and stare at the sky, wondering what why you found it so calming. I’ll never get over your ability to find beauty in the darkness. I’ve only ever found chaos. I think everything will be fine as long as you can still find beauty in the stars.  
Jenna can find that beauty. I used to think it was some weird thing only girls could: romanticizing the strangest of things. But then one night Josh and I took a nice long walk together and he started talking about the stars. Maybe I’m the strange one. But strange is good. You told me that once. Said your mom said that to you.  
I think about those words a lot when I’m not so sure if it is. It helps remind me that some people find joy in the strangest of things.  
Ty

June 29, 2013  
Nation,  
I’m not quite sure when I talked to you last but I remember it was just a week or two after went back to London. I’d say home, but the look on your face before you got on your flight made me feel like you weren’t really going home, only running from it. Last time I called you Dan answered the phone. He said you were making a Youtube video about life on a tour bus. I never saw it get uploaded, though.  
I hope you do upload it though. I kind of want to compare your tour experience with Josh and I’s, even if we haven’t gotten to experience a big tour bus yet. Our van is home though, it hasn’t broken down yet. That’s what I call reliable. It’s sick as frick. Quite literally, Zac through up in it once and I still don’t think anyone has cleaned that up…

October 23, 2013  
Nation,  
It’s your birthday today. I couldn’t pick up the phone though. It just felt too weird. I tweeted you, though. But, it’s definitely not the same. Two stupid words and a magical name doesn’t equal an hour of talking about everything and nothing all at once. I miss that. I miss my best friend. I miss talking about the stupid stuff the three of us used to do before crash. I miss you.  
I don’t know why I keep writing in this. Why I keep telling you everything yet nothing. It’s not like you’ll ever read this. If you do… if you do call me and say rotten Jell-O. Sound good? Sounds good to me. Eh, who am I kidding? You’re never going to read this.  
Ty

January 12, 2014  
My Fren,  
I’m moving out today. I think I’m going to leave this journal here though. Maybe Josh will find it one day if he ever moves out of this place or turns my old room into a music room or something. I don’t know.   
Hey, Josh, buddy, if read this far do me a favor and slap yourself okay?  
And Nation, if you’re reading this I’d kill for you to say rotten Jell-o. Better yet, if you remember anything, anything at all, code word is moldy Jell-o. What’s my thing with Jell-o???  
Ty

Nation chuckled to herself as she read through the journal. It was almost completely full, an entry for every day whether it two sentences or three pages. The musician reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. Her finger hovered over the number five on her dialer. It had always just been easier to keep the singer on speed dial.  
She took a deep breath for pressed the button and holding her phone to her ear. She wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t answer. It was four am anyway. She was a slow reader and the journal was pretty full.  
“Nation, it’s four in the morning. What’s bothering you?” Tyler asked. His voice wasn’t scratchy as if he had just woken up, however. It didn’t even sound like he was tired.  
“Moldy Jell-o,” Nation said with a nervous laugh. She heard his breath hitch before the sound of his shuffling, probably getting out of bed, careful not to wake up Jenna.   
Nation heard the sound of a door gently closing before Tyler spoke again, “How much do you remember?”  
“Everything,” Nation sighed. “And when I say everything I mean everything. I remember three am group skype calls with you and Dan when I was on tour and it was the middle of the day for Dan and the sun had risen for you and Josh. I remember fighting with my Dad right before I left Panic! I remember,” her voice softened, “I remember Link. I remember the crash, Bandit screaming, Dan pulling me away from my side of the car, the s-sound of L-Link-“  
Tyler cut her off just before a sob escaped her lips, “Hey, shh, shh, you’re okay. I know it must be bad. But look at it this way. You remember. That’s a good thing, right?”  
“No.”  
“Why not,” Tyler’s voice grew concerned.  
“Because it turns out I’m not the biggest fan of remembering all the bad times. Because the bad times make me think of the good times and the good times make me nostalgic and we all know how that ends up with me,” Nation rambled, careful to keep her voice down so that Josh couldn’t hear her. “I haven’t told anyone why I just up and left London. ‘  
“Because you remembered,” Tyler nodded as he connected all the dots. “It’s okay though. You’re just trying to adjust to it. Tell you what, I’ll come over to Josh’s tomorrow and we can go on a long walk. Sound good?”  
Nation nodded before remembering he couldn’t see her. “Yeah. Yeah, it sounds good. I should probably let you go. Jenna might wake up and wonder if you’re dead or not.”  
“Yeah. I don’t think she woke up when I got of bed, but I should probably get some sleep anyway. You too, missy.”  
“Sir, yes, sir,” Nation joked before smiling to herself. “Night, Tyler.”  
“Before you go,” Tyler stopped her and Nation paused waiting for his next words, “Has anyone told you you’re starting to sound British yet?”  
A light laugh escaped Nation’s lips. “Just another excuse to come back to Jersey. Isn’t it?”  
“Good excuse. Night, Fren.”  
“Night, Fren.”  
Nation ended the call before tossing her phone to the end of the bed and collapsing back onto the bed. Pajamas weren’t necessary when you were a step closer to peace of mind.

**

Tyler came around the next day as promised. Josh said something about meeting someone for lunch and had quickly hugged both Nation and Tyler goodbye before heading out to his car. He had given Nation a key to his place before leaving.  
“Come on,” Tyler said as he motioned towards the front door. Nation nodded before following after him, locking the door behind her.  
The two walked down the driveway and turned down the sidewalk. Tyler glanced up at the clear blue sky before looking back down at his silent friend. He let out a sigh as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. In turn she wrapped an arm around his waist as they continued to walk.  
“So, any idea what triggered your memories to come back,” Tyler asked curiously.  
Nation’s eyes traveled to her shoes as she mumbled her answer.  
“Sorry?”  
“Bar fight,” She stated more clearly and Tyler gave her a disappointed look. “Look, I’m sorry. Not like I had walked into the place looking for trouble. I just needed a drink and before I knew it one jack turned into six and next thing I knew this chick was flinging me into a fucking wall.”  
“Language.”  
“Sorry.”  
Tyler shook his head, his gaze returning to in front of them. Nation looked up at Tyler and examined him for the first time in what seemed like forever. A year can definitely change a person. His brown hair was shaved and a bit of stubble was still on his jaw as if she couldn’t bother to shave this morning. His eyes still contained that far off look.  
“How’s Jenna?” Nation asked suddenly.  
“She’s great. But, please don’t try and change the subject. I came over to talk about you. Now why’d you leave Dan with no explanation?”  
Nation’s gaze returned to her feet as she tried to come up with a good answer. She replayed the events of that night over and over again in her head. There had to be a logical answer.  
“Because for the last year, I haven’t been me. And I think I’m afraid that now I’m back to being myself I’ve got to get used to it before I can get used to him,” Nation tried to explain before quickly shaking her head, “that made no sense. I’m sorry. I’m trying, Ty. I swear.”  
“I know, Nation, I know. But, I think I get what you mean.”  
Nation’s head snapped up, a hopeful look in her eyes, “You do?”  
“You’ve got to adjust to having your memories back before you focus on your current life again,” He said and Nation nodded slowly. “Yeah. I get why you’d want to do that. You want to try and fix some things that you didn’t remember before. But the thing is, Nation, you’ve got be able to multitask. The present isn’t going to wait for you.”  
Nation bowed her head as she dropped her arm from around Tyler’s waist, shoving it into the pockets of her jeans. “But the more I ignore my past, the worse things are going to get.”  
“So drag the past to the present if you need to,” Tyler told her and she gave him a confused look. “Talk to your Dad, Nation. He’s got to be missing you. You two were so close.”  
“Yeah, yeah. It’s just,” Nation took a breath and turned away from Tyler as she spoke, “do you want to know why I stopped talking to him completely? Why I didn’t want to leave London?” Tyler raised an eyebrow. He remembered when all this drama originally went down but it’d be interesting to hear it from her now. “Because he was just trying to protect me and keep me safe, but I couldn’t accept that fact. I’m such an asshole.”  
“Call him, Nation.”  
Nation ran a hand through her hair and bit her lip, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. “I can’t. I can’t call him. I can’t call Dan. Hell, Mya hates me. What the hell am I supposed to do Tyler? I mean, two days ago I literally called Brendon and told him I was in. I told Brendon I’d come back to Panic! but why? What do I gain from that? The last time I saw Brendon in person he blew up on me and thought I was cheating on him with Dan when we were just joking around and being stupid. How do I know he’s grown up? How do I know he’s not going to hurt me again?”  
“Woah, woah, woah, you’re going back to Panic!?”  
“I just said that, didn’t I?”  
“Yeah.”  
Nation stopped walking as she pulled her hair. What was she doing making such drastic decisions in such little time. She should be thinking these kind of things through not just dropping the stable life she had and throwing herself into what could easily turn into her own personally hell. Nation sank her to knees as her breaths became ragged. Tyler instantly kneeled in front of her and brushed her hair out of her face.  
“Nation, look at me, and listen to every word I say. And I don’t mean hear me, I mean listen. Truly listen,” Tyler spoke quickly and watched as Nation’s eyes finally locked onto his. “You’re going to be fine, everything will smooth out. Yes, it’s going to take time and effort and more tears might be shed and people may scream, but that’s life. You can’t avoid it forever. You sitting here and hiding from everyone behind Josh and I is not going to help you one bit. You have to talk to them: your dad, Brendon, Dan. You have to tell them you remember. You have to try and fix things. Sitting here and panicking about them will not make them go away. You got it?”  
Nation nodded quickly whipping away tears from under eyes, nodding rapidly.  
“Yeah, yeah. Okay,” Nation spoke quickly as if she said it any slower she’d never be able to get the simple words out. “Can we go home now? I’m down with people staring at me like I’m crazy.”  
Tyler gave her a small smile before standing up and helping her to her feet. He through an arm around her shoulders once again and the best friends made their way back home.


	3. Chapter 3

_You have to talk to them._

Tyler words rang through Nation’s head as she sat on the couch with him, Josh, and Jenna. Jenna was curled up with her head on Tyler’s chest and Josh sat next to them, a blanket thrown over him. Nation sat a distance away as she watched the movie playing. She wasn’t even sure what it was at this point. She kept zoning out that at this point she might as well fall asleep.

                Her gaze kept flickering to Tyler and Jenna. Every time it did she was haunted by all the memories of when that was her and Dan. But every so often one with Brendon would resurface. She just wasn’t quite sure how to respond to those ones. Her heart pained every time they resurfaced and left her to wonder if she still had feelings for Brendon or if she was just nostalgic.

                Her right hand flew to her left and she twisted the ring on her finger. What was she doing here? She should be back in London planning. Nation swallowed hard as she looked at the diamond ring on her finger. Did the engagement even stand now?

                “Tyler,” Jenna whispered, careful not to catch Nation and Josh’s attention. Tyler gaze snapped away from the television and down to his girlfriend who he gave a soft smile. Jenna pointed towards Nation and Tyler looked over at his best friend before sighing. How hadn’t he noticed before.

                Tyler’s gaze went back to the TV and his grip around Jenna tightened slightly. Jenna looked up at Tyler with a worried look.

                He shook his head before whispering, “will you talk to her later?”

                Jenna nodded before snuggling back into Tyler side.

 

**

 

                Jenna knocked on the door to Nation’s room and waited for a quick “come in” before entering the room. She watched as Nation tossed her clothes from the day into the corner of the room, now dressed in her pajamas for the night. Nation shot Jenna a smile before hoping up onto the bed.

                “What’s up?”

                Jenna sighed before closing the door behind her and leaning on it. Nation raised an eyebrow before Jenna spoke, “when were you planning to tell us that you and Dan got engaged?”

                Nation’s eyes went to the floor as she twisted the ring on her finger. She shrugged. “I don’t know. It never came up. I thought it didn’t matter.”

                “But it does matter,” Jenna said as she came over and sat down next to Nation. “When did he ask?”

                “Christmas. We were opening presents and I had turned around to grab another one. When I turned back around her was down on open knee holding open the ring box,” A smile appeared on Nation’s face at the memory. “He gave the dorkiest little speech but he kept stuttering cos he was so nervous. I finally just cut him off and said yes.”

                “He sounds great, Dan,” Jenna told her and that was when Nation remembered the blond had never met the tall Brit.

                Nation nodded. “He is. He’s amazing. Dan’s too good for me.” Nation let out a sigh as she looked at the ring on her finger, “God, he probably hates me right now.”

                “So, call him. Find out. Tell him how you feel. He probably think you left because of him rather than yourself,” Jenna told her.

                Nation gave Jenna a suspicious look, “Tyler told you about yesterday, didn’t he?”

                Jenna smiled and laughed, nodding. “The day Tyler keeps a secret from me will probably be the day he proposes.”

                “True.”

                Jenna smiled before standing up and heading towards the door. “Call Dan. Before it’s too late. Night, Nation.”

                “Night, Jenna.”

                Jenna closed the door behind her as Nation reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She opened Twitter and then went to Dan’s profile. Nation click on Direct Messaging and took a deep breath before messaging him to get on skype. She then opened the app on her phone and waited patiently for the little yellow button to turn green.

                And to her surprise, in a matter of seconds it did and the next thing she knew the notification for his call appeared on her screen. Nation took another  deep breath before pressing on the video option.

                “Hi, Dan,” Nation barely whispered.

                “Nation, where are you,” Dan asked. His eyes were red and puffy as if he had been crying and his voice was pleading.

                Nation paused, trying to keep her tears from falling, “I’m at Josh’s. I-I had to come and visit Link.”

                “When I had asked you a few weeks ago you said you couldn’t bear to go,” Dan replied softly. “But, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter. When are you coming home?”

                “I’m not sure,” Nation replied quietly, looking down at her lap. “Bear?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Do you hate me?”

                “What?” Dan’s expression was full of shock. “I could never hate you. I’ve been worried to death about. You just packed your bag and stormed out of the flat. I had no idea what was going on. I thought you hated _me._ ”

                Nation choked back a sob before shaking her head. “I never could. I just,” She took a breath, “I remember, Dan. I remember everything and I just don’t know what to do. I just felt so guilty and I didn’t want to tell you for some god awful reason. So I came and visited Link because I remember him now and I miss him so much,” Nation continued to ramble, not sure when to stop talking, “Because he was my kid brother and I love him so much. But, then I called Brendon and I told him I wanted to come back to Panic! and I don’t even know why I said that. But then I’ve got to call my dads and try and figure out all of that bullshit and just-“

                “Shh, shh, you’re going to be fine Nation. I’ll fly out to the state if you want me to. I can help you through this if you’ll let me,” Dan told her, watching as the tears cascaded down her face. He waited until she wasn’t looking to quickly wipe away his own. “I love you, Nation Way. I will always be here for you. ”

                “I love you too, Bear.”

 

**

 

                “Leaving already?” Josh asked from the doorway as he watched Nation pack up the rest of her things. She looked up at the sound of the drummer voice. He looked so sad to see her go so soon.

                Nation crossed the room and wrapped her arms around the taller boy. “I’m sorry, Josh. Coming here was a last minute decision and not a well thought out one at that. Dan and I have been planning on flying out to California for a few days now and you know that. I’ve got to fix things, Josh.”

                “I know,” Josh mumbled as he rested his chin on top her head. “It doesn’t mean that I won’t be any less sad to see you go.”

                “Yeah, I know. But, look at it this way. I remember all the times we ambushes Tyler with water balloons that summer in ’08.”

                “Oh my god ,that was hilarious,” Josh chuckled pulling away to look down at her with a bright smile.

                Nation grinned, “We’ve got to do it again sometime. The look on his face…”

                “That’s was priceless.”

 

**

 

                For the entire flight to California, Nation gripped the arm rests of her seat and blasted her music. She had set her music on shuffle unsure of which artist would keep her the calmest. It continued to switch around from Twenty One Pilots to Black Veil Brides to Green Day but nothing seemed to cause her to relax until the familiar piano rang through her ears. She instantly relaxed and her father’s voice began to drift through her ears. She wasn’t sure when the last time she listened to him sing was. Nation pulled her IPod out of her pocket and quickly switched her playlist to The Black Parade.

                Who knew that would cause a peaceful flight?

 

                **

 

                Nation walked through the airport, dragging her suitcase behind her. Her phone had died on the flight so she was relying on her eyes to find her fiancé. His flight landed an hour before hers and he had promised he’d meet her outside of Starbucks. Now, her only issue was to find the coffee shop. She finally gave up, her eyes catching onto a woman in a Green Day t-shirt.

                _Might as well,_ she thought before going up to the woman. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

                “Oh, hello. Can I help you?” She asked with a polite grin.

                “Yeah actually, you mind telling me where the Starbucks in this place is? I’m supposed to be meeting my fiancé there and my phone died,” Nation asked politely, a pleading look on her face.

                The woman smiled and laughed, “It’s on the floor below us. It’s hard to miss the sign.

                “Thank you so much. Have a nice day and nice shirt.”

                “Thanks! You too.”

                Nation quickly made her way towards the escalator and made her way down. The woman was right, it was impossible to miss the Starbucks sign. It was practically the only place on this floor; the rest was mainly benches full of people waiting for flights.

                “Nation!” She heard a familiar voice shout from a bench nearby. She turned on her heels and grinned ear to ear as Dan stood up from the bench and abandoned his suitcase and drink. He took quick steps towards her before wrapping her into a hug, picking her up to spin her around. He placed her back down as she hugged back, giggling. “I missed you so much,” He smiled down at her before crashing his lips onto hers.

                Nation laughed as she pulled away smiling up at him. “I miss you too.”

                “You’re never allowed to leave again. Got it?” Nation nodded before leaning up to kiss him once again, ignoring the awing of the small crowd of people. Dan pulled away this time, “I bought you a coffee.”

                “And that’s why we’re getting married,” Nation smiled. Dan took her bag from her and brought it over to where he was sitting before. He picked up the caramel frap that was resting on the bench next to his latte and handed it over to her. Nation took a sip and grinned. Coffee will always be her personal heaven.  “Can you call the hotel and double check our room? My mobile died. It’s why I never phoned.”

                Dan paused before looking down at her with a concerned look. “Okay,” He laughed, “you’ve been away from the states for _too_ long.”

                Nation froze. “I just called my cellphone a mobile, oh my god. I’m blaming you for this.”

                “What?! Why me?”

                “You’re the one that asked me to move in with you in the first place,” Nation laughed as she picked up her bag again. Dan did the same and the two began walking towards the elevator to leave.

                “Point taken.”

 

**

 

                “Hey, Dan,” Nation said as she put on a pot of coffee in their hotel room.

                “Yeah,” Dan said as he shuffled through his bag for a pair of sweatpants to sleep in.

                “What do you thinks going to happen at Brendon’s tomorrow?” Nation asked curiously. Her mind couldn’t get over all the different possibilities of tomorrow. Everything could either go right or crash and burn. But, Nation wasn’t quite sure if she was rooting for the former of the latter.

                Dan shrugged as Nation made her way back towards the bed. He grabbed a t-shirt and threw it towards her, knowing how much she preferred to sleep in his clothes rather than her own. “I think it’ll probably go well. Neither of you are mad at each other anymore and you’ve both definitely moved on.”

                “Huh?”

                “Well, you’re with me and Brendon’s with Ryan so, if you two haven’t moved on why are they fucking and why are you wearing that ring,” Dan laughed and Nation only blinked in response. “You didn’t know about Brendon and Ryan did you?”

                Nation shook her head no, causing Dan to laugh. Something must have clicked in Nation’s head because suddenly her eyes were wide and a shit eating grin was plastered across her face.” Oh my god. I’m gunna get to see Ryan _and_ Brendon, _in the same room._ Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I’m so excited,” Nation squealed as she ran over Dan and wrapped her arms around his neck whilst jumping up and down. “This is amazing!”

                Dan placed his hands on his fiancé’s hips to keep her from jumping about any longer. “I get you’re excited but it’s three am and the people below us will complain if you keep jumping about like that.”

                “Oh,” Nation said stopping, “whoops. Didn’t think about that.”

                The coffee pot beeped and Nation smiled before rushing over to pour herself a cup. Dan wondered how she was able to drink a pot of coffee and then sleep peacefully through the night an hour later. There were somethings about that girl that he’d never quite be able to understand. But that just made her ever so more enticing.

 

**

 

                The taxi pulled up in front of Brendon’s house and Nation’s breathe hitched. It’d been forever since she’d stepped foot in this house and she wondered just how she’d handle it. Dan gave her an assuring smile as she quickly paid the uber driver before the two exited the vehicle. They walked up the sidewalk to the door and Nation fumbled with her keys for a moment.

                “You still have your key?”

                “Yup,” She said, popping the p, “My name’s still on the house actually. And knowing Brendon, he didn’t bother to change the locks.”

                And she was right, the door swung right open after she unlocked the door and the two stepped into the house, shutting the door behind them.

                “Hey, Brendon! You never changed the locks!” Nation shouted, hoping he’d hear her from wherever he was in the house. Brendon emerged from the top of the stairs, dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and an old Panic! at the Disco t-shirt.

                Brendon smiled when he saw the couple, “That was kind of on purpose. Your name is still on the house after all.”

                “Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Dan chuckled.

                “Told you,” Nation smiled.

                “I hope you don’t mind but there’s someone already in the studio,” Brendon said as he got to the bottom of the stairs. “Also, the studio is outback.”

                “You seriously had another building built just for a studio,” Nation laughed as she and Dan followed him out the back door. And there stood a smaller building right next to the pool.

                “Yup. I tend to jump off it into the pool,” Brendon laughed as he pushed open the door to the studio.”

                “Sounds entertaining,” Nation noted as they entered the studio. Her eyes instantly locked onto the man in the swivel chair with a guitar in his lap. “Ryro!”

                His head snapped up and brown eyes settled on the Way. A grin appeared on his face as she stood up, placing the acoustic on its appropriate stand before quickly wrapping his arms around his friend. “I missed you so much, you have no idea,” Ryan grinned before pulling away and giving her a once over. “Wow, you grew.”

                “No I didn’t,” She said confused.

                Ryan poked her boob as he spoke, “yeah you did.”

                Nation sighed, “of course you’d notice that.”

                “I did too, don’t worry,” Brendon joked as he came up behind Ryan, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s waist. Nation glared at both men causing them to grin. She looked up at Dan as he gave her the same smile as the others. “So, you got any ideas already? Ryan and I have been writing together since we talked on the phone.”

                Brendon let go of Ryan and went over to the desk Ryan had been sitting behind beforehand. He pulled open and drawer and pulled out a notebook.

                “Yeah, everything’s on my phone though. I didn’t start writing until the plane ride over here,” Nation laughed as she grabbed a nearby stool and sat down. Dan leaned against the wall awkwardly. He knew that the seconds the three started working on the music he’d get ignored, but he was fine with that. As creepy as it sounded he loved to just stare at Nation while she worked on anything. He enjoyed the faces she made as she excitedly made good progress or the annoyed look she got as she completely got rid of something she had spent weeks on.

                “Email me what you have an I can print it out,” Brendon told her and she quickly complied.

                Twenty minutes later, Nation was sitting down with a bass, Brendon was behind the drums and Ryan had a guitar. A sheet of paper sat in front of each of them with their highlighted parts. It was probably the fastest they had ever figured out lyrics. Ryan and Nation had together come up with a simple bass and guitar line and Brendon was thrilled with his drumline.

                “Alright, alright, it’s a hell of a feeling though, it’s a hell of a feeling though,” Brendon sang as Ryan and Nation started to play. He repeated the line as the two nodded in time. Brendon came in the the drum line and soon enough they were kicking off into the first verse. Dan smiled from the sidelines, holding up his camera as he filmed the experience. He figured the band could release this to the fans one day.

“Who are these people? I just woke up in my underwear. No liquor left on the shelf. I should probably introduce myself,” Brendon sang, eyes still on the lyrics. It wouldn’t take long for him to memorize them, however.

Ryan took over smoothly, “You shoulda seen what I wore. I had a cane and a party hat. I was the king of this hologram.”

Brendon came in an sang with Brendon for the next line and the too glanced over to each other as they did, smiling, “Where there's no such thing as getting out of hand.”

Nation grinned as she took over the verse. “Memories tend to just pop up, drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves, five-thousand people with designer drugs,” She couldn’t help but smile as sang, though he voice had an annoyed ring to it as she sang her next line, almost sarcastically, “Don't think I'll ever get enough.

Ryan and Brendon repeated the verse before the trio burst into the chorus. Nation locked eyes with Dan causing them both to grin ear to ear before Nation turned back to her two friends. Brendon and Ryan seemed to be having the times of their live, especially as Ryan began the second verse.

“What are these footprints?” Ryan sang his two lines, “They don't look very human like.”

Brendon picked it up, “Now I wish that I could find my clothes, bed sheets and a morning rose.”

“I wanna wake up,” Nation’s voice rang out full of passion, her eyes clenches shut as she sang, head still bobbing to the beat, “Can't even tell if this is a dream.”

“How did we end up in my neighbor's pool, upside down with a perfect view?” Ryan continued, Brendon and Nation harmonizing the last phrase with him.

“Bar to bar at the speed of sound,” Brendon grinned.

“Fancy feet dancing through this town,” Ryan shrugged.

“Lost my mind in a wedding gown,” Nation joked.

“Don't think I'll ever get it now,” Brendon seemed to direct the line towards Ryan causing him to laugh as he and Nation repeated it. The song was coming off as just the three of them joking around and catching up like they should be. And that’s what it was, three best friends who had been separated for far too long for the dumbest of reasons.

They went off into the chorus once again and Dan was through the roof. He had never watched Nation write music with other people and it mesmerized him how the three all clicked together so well. The music seemed to flow as it had always been there.

Ryan continued into the next verse. “I'm a scholar and a gentleman and I usually don't fall when I try to stand.”

“I lost a bet to a guy in a Chiffon skirt, but I make these high heels work,” Brendon sang a smirk on his face as he did so.

“I've told you time and time again,” Ryan picked up, “I'm not as think as you drunk I am.”

Brendon and Ryan harmonized the next lines together, “And we all fell down when the sun came up.”

Nation laughed as she sang alone, “I think we've had enough.”

The trio sang the final chorus the background music dropping out as they sang the final lines with grins on their faces.

“That was fucking awesome!” Brendon exclaimed from behind his kit. He played a quickly solo in his excitement causing the others to laugh.

“That was probably the most exciting thing I’ve ever witnessed,” Dan commented, “like seriously, that was beautiful. People would have probably killed to be in this room while you wrote that. It’s probably why I filmed it.”

Nation smiled up at her fiancé, “that was probably the fastest I’ve ever written out an entire song before.”

“There’s still some stuff we’ve got to tweak though,” Ryan chimed in as he looked down at his guitar playing his line over again, playing around with a few notes. “I think we should drop the bass part an octave down by the way.”

Nation tried it out before looking towards Brendon and Ryan with an odd look.

“Or not,” Brendon said and the three nodded in agreement. “try dropping it on the guitar.”

Ryan played for a moment before grinning. “Nation,” He said simple and she nodded off a count before the two played together. The exerts harmonized perfectly as they came through the amps.

“Yeah, that’s a lot better,” Brendon commented. “We could get some major background vocals into this, especially with our different vocal ranges.”

“Bren, yours covers both mine and Nation’s,” Ryan laughed causing the others to join in. They all fell into silence for a moment before Ryan continued to speak, “how do we tell them Nation and I are back?”

“With this,” Nation said gesturing to the lyrics in front of her. “I say just out of the blue we drop the music video for it. The fans would flip shit. Because it just starts out with Brendon so they’d be like aw okay cool new song, at first.”

”Actually, they’d be crying as they screamed over the new song,” Dan corrected jokingly. “I can just imagine their faces as Ryan starts singing, they’d all be screaming Ryden at the top of their lungs and then once Nation comes in, they’d be dead. That’d be it. It’s over. The only thing that could top this reunion would be MCR,” He paused before looking towards Nation who was giving him a blank stare, “too soon?”

“Yeah,” She nodded, “just a bit.”

 

**

 

“So, Spence and Jon coming back or what?” Nation asked curious as she sat around her own kitchen table with Brendon, Ryan, and Dan. It reminded her of years ago whilst they were still recording _Pretty. Odd._

Brendon shook his head, “Spencer just got out of rehab. He wants to get back to his for now instead of coming out on stage. Jon just wants to hide away with Cassie and honestly it might be for the better. Dallon’s amazing and I really can’t imagine not having him on stage with me at this point.”

Ryan froze, his glass halfway to his lips before his eyes ever so slowly moved over to the man on his right. “You’ve fucked him, haven’t you?”

“How do you think he got in the band? Talent?”

Dan snorted as Nation tried to stifle a laugh. Ryan groaned, running a hand through his hair, obviously not thrilled to be having this man on tour with them.

“Ryro, don’t stress. First off, the man is married now with the most adorable kids in the world. Second, if I didn’t love you, there wouldn’t be an engagement ring in my pocket right now.”

“Yeah, but you still sle- wait did you just say engagement ring,” Ryan stopped and Nation’s eyes grew wide as Dan chuckled, his eyes glancing over to Nation’s hand where the diamond ring he had bought was.

Brendon shrugged as he reached into his pocket, pulling out the small ring box. He flipped it open to reveal the simple silver band before setting it down on the table in front of Ryan. “What do you say, Ryan, want to get hitched?”

Ryan grumbled, annoyed a response as he removed the ring from the box and slipped it onto his left hand. Nation grinned ear to ear as Brendon grinned like an idiot. Brendon leaned over to kiss Ryan’s cheek but he turned his head in time to catch his lips with his own.

“Can I help plan this wedding? Because let’s be real the best thing in the world would be if we got Patrick to sing Sinatra for your first dance,” Nation squealed.

Dan’s brow furrowed. “We haven’t even started to plan _our_ wedding.”

“Yeah, but these two idiots will be hitched in like two months knowing them,” Nation pointed out and both nodded in agreement. “See? Told you. Besides, what happened to you want a winter wedding?”

“True,” Dan shrugged, “we still have to pick colors.” Nation laughed as Brendon and Ryan gave him crazed looks. “What?”

“Dude,” Ryan laughed, “you should be excited that you get to have it in winter. The wedding’s gunna be her day, not yours.”

                Dan looked to Brendon for confirmation and the man nodded with a smile.

                “That’s why Ryan here gets to plan the wedding,” Brendon spoke and Ryan just gave him a glare. They had only been engaged for five minutes and things were already being shoved into place. “What? We both know you’re the gayest in this relationship.”

                “I’m the only gay one,” He mumbled.

                “Exactly!”

                “I hate you.”

                “Then give me the ring back.”

                “Fuck you.”

                “You’ve done that already, babe,” Brendon winked, “But I will gladly do it again.”

                Ryan blushed deep red as Dan and Nation smiled at them from across the table. It was definitely different from the earlier days of Panic! All those years ago when it was Nation and the four idiots from Las Vegas in a shitty apartment in Maryland were just a distant memory now. But they were memories attached to this house as well and they were memories all five would cherish forever.

 

**

 

“Hey, Dan,” Nation whispered from beside her fiancé. It was four am and they had just gotten back to the hotel two hours ago. He hummed a response. Nation’s back was to him but he had rolled over and slung his arms around her waist long before, pulling her close to his chest. “Our lease is up soon.”

“You want to come to the states, don’t you,” Dan mumbled.

Nation sighed, “maybe.”

“I don’t mind,” He reminded casually.

“But, what about Phil? He’s your best friend Dan. I don’t want you to be so far away from everyone your close with when I’m out on tour with Panic!”

Dan quickly hushed her. “First off, you said it yourself, the album won’t be out for like another two years. Brendon’s got to finish touring with the one he just let out last year and stuff. The three of you still have to work out the rest of the album and all the technical stuff. Besides, I can always come on tour with you if you want. Not like I have anything better to do.”

“But, you and Phil are almost inseperable.”

“If we were I wouldn’t be here,” Dan mumbled before rolling over to lay on his back pulling her with him so that she was half lying on top of him. Nation let out a sigh as she wrapped an arm around his torso. “Besides, Phil and I may or may not have had an argument before I flew out.”

“About what?” Nation asked,  her brow furrowed.

Dan paused a moment causing Nation to groan when she realized it was over her. “He doesn’t think we should get married.”

“Why?”

Dan shrugged, “I’m not sure. But, he’s an idiot sometimes. He’ll get over it. Besides, who else would I have as best man?”

“What’d he say exactly,” Nation asked, now curious. It was very out of character for Phil to say something like that to anyone, let alone Dan.

“Said I was young, stupid, that you had changed, yada yada ya. But, of course you’ve changed; we’ve both changed, for better or for worse I don’t care.”

Nation took a deep breath as she replayed his words in her head. Maybe they had changed.

_But for better or for worse?_

 

**

 

The next two months seemed to blow over with ease. Nation helped Ryan plan his and Brendon’s wedding and as the days went by the Ryden household seemed to always be buzzing with excitement. People were flying into California left and right as the date got closer and closer. And the closer it got the more nervous the couple became. Nation of course took full responsibility for Ryan and helped make sure he calm and ready the wedding, inviting some of their closest friends for a day at the beach.

That had left Dan with Brendon and he had asked the older man what he wanted to do for his bachelor party; he was suddenly swept away with several other men in some club with overly exposed people leaving Dan completely uncomfortable and ever so hammered.

And two days later Nation stood in the same dressing room as Ryan helping him sort out his tux. His hair was styled for once and he was clean shaven for the special event. Nation kept having to fuss over him and fix his hair every time he ran a hand through it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Ryan apologized again as Nation messed with his hair once again. “Stop fussing over me, Brendon couldn’t care less whether I walked down like this or buck ass nude.”

“He’d probably prefer the latter,” Nation said before turning to look into the mirror that took up the entire wall.

Her curls were pulled up into a high ponytail with her bangs pinned neatly to the side, out of her face. The bride’s maid dress she wore was aqua and gracefully touched the floor, hugging her curls just right. She was Ryan’s maid of honor and Spencer was Brendon’s best man. They were having a small wedding. Only family and their closest friends had been invited.

“What if I did that,” Ryan joked and Nation slapped his shoulder as he laughed. “Sorry, sorry. Probably shouldn’t do that anyway. My mom’s out there.”

“Good boy.”

“Bark.”

“Sit,” She said and watched Ryan rolled his eyes and went to messing with his hair himself. iT was his turn to worry about his appearance now.

“You think I’m doing a good thing?” Ryan asked suddenly, breaking their short silence as they both fussed over themselves.

Nation raised an eyebrow at her friend, “what marrying the love of your life? Hell yeah you are.”

“God, if you’re even half as nervous at your wedding as I am, I wish you fucking luck because I might just piss myself.”

“You’re going to be fine. And look at it this way, when all of this is over you can give me all this great advice for my wedding day. When I’m all worried and crying about my hair or whatever you can threaten to shave my head or something and remind of this,” Nation said as she went behind Ryan and wrapped her arms around him from behind, looking at him in the mirror, having to poke her head around him, “you’re about to walk out those door and see the love of your life. What could go wrong?”

“Everything.”

“That’s the spirit! Wait, no.”

 

**

 

Nation grinned ear to ear as the final words rang out.

“You may now kiss the groom,” The man said with a smile.

Brendon crashed his lips onto Ryan’s and Spencer and Nation smiled at each other from across the small podium. It was a happy day filled with laughter and tears of joy. The reception dinner was fantastic. Spencer’s speech was long as hell but made everyone laugh but soon enough it was time for Nation’s.

“Well, seeing as I know almost every single person in this room, you all know how much I hate talking in front of crowds, small crowds, I should probably say. Hundred thousand people, no problem but this, god I’m out of my comfort zone. And besides, there’s no words to describe my love for these two boys or their love for each other. And I say boys for a reason. Yes, they are technically full grown men and if you separate them they’ll act like it. But if you put them in the same room as each other they’re suddenly fifteen again with no worries in the world. In a way I’ve grown up with these idiots. I’ve known them since I was what like sixteen? When I first met them it was in a tiny ass apartment in the middle of Maryland because Pete here,” Nation pointed towards the bassist who smiled innocently from his seat next to Patrick Stump, “had thought It was a good idea to send me to fix their problems.

But lord should I have known what I was getting myself into. That small apartment would soon turn into three am pizza and Chinese food, talking about everything and nothing, making some bomb ass music and touring the world. That may have ended but we soon all were sort of forced back together in a way. I don’t know why but I do know that because of it, I’ve never seen these two idiots happier and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for them. To Brendon and Ryan,” Nation spoke as she raised her wine glass looking directly at her two best friends, “Not only for a long happy love but for being two of best guys I have known.”

Ryan stood up from his seat beside Nation and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. Nation couldn’t help but smile and laugh.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

A few months later, Nation and Dan returned to London. The topic of moving out to the states still hung in the air but Nation was becoming more and more uncertain about it. She didn’t want Dan to be forced away from his friends and family just so her work could be a little more convenient.

“Shit, I need to film something before my fans tear me to shreds,” Dan chuckled from besides Nation on the couch. Both were scrolling through their Tumblr dashes, just passing time. “When was the last time you filmed something?”

Nation shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care. I’m haven’t been in the mood to post a video lately and that was the only time I ever posted.”

Dan’s brow furrowed. He knew Nation’s need to have something tugging at her mind to create something for her channel, but he also knew how much she loved her schedule for her channel and she had been ignoring it for months. “What’s nagging at that head of yours then? This isn’t like you.”

He scooted closer to her, wrapping his arm around her to pull her close. Nation sighed as she shut her laptop, moving it to the side before resting her head on his chest. He copied her actions before looking down at her curiously. “Josh and Tyler asked me to come on tour with them for the last stretch of Vessel.”

“So go, I’m not going to stop you.”

“Well, they’re planning on releasing on releasing their next album around April/May of next year. They want me to open for them then.”

“And?”

“Well the touring wouldn’t end until towards the end of 2016… Dan I wouldn’t be home but for a few days at a time four almost two years,” Nation explained to him and the man only shrugged. “Really that’s your reaction? I thought you’d be upset.”

Dan chuckled as Nation pulled away from him and wore a shocked expression. “Nation, you’re a musician. This is your job I knew what I was getting into the moment I met you, well was told your actual name, but you get the point. I’ll be okay. I’ll come out with you ever so often and those few days you are home are going to be the best days on the year. We’ll be alright.”

He leant in and gave her a gentle kiss before pulling away and smiling at her. She shook her head a smile dancing on her lips.

“Now, when are you leaving? And where’s the tour centralized?”

“Three weeks and it’s in the states. Tyler wants to drag me out onto stage so we can perform Car Radio and Kitchen Sink together since we’ve never done it live. God, it’s been forever since I’ve performed,” Nation said dreamily, a soft smile on her face as she thought of standing before the crowd.

“Sounds good. Back to oddly timed skype calls then,” Dan joked.

Nation chuckled, “Is it bad that I miss those? The weirdest shit used to happen during them.”

“You make a point.”

“Oh, by the way, I’m going out get new tattoos tomorrow.”

“There was an s in that word,” Dan noted and she nodded, “what are you getting now?”

“I wanted to get the Danger Days spider on my left shoulder, kind of to match the Parade skeleton on my other side and then I’m getting the Triforce symbol on my right wrist for Link,” Nation explained to him. “It’ll kind of balance out the Panic! exclamation point on my left wrist now.”

That was when something clicked in Nation’s head and a wide eyed looked became plastered across her face. “You just realized your tattoo holds another sense of meaning now, didn’t you?”

She nodded excitedly.

 

**

 

“I fucking hate needles,”  Nation reminded Dan as they walked out of the tattoo parlor hand in hand, Nation now with two more works of art engraved on her skin. It may have hurt like a bitch and the sight of the needle may have made her slightly queasy, but she knew it was worth it.

Her black and white bracelet was still tied tightly around her left wrist where it had been for years and it was almost entertaining to see the annoyed expression of the tattoo artist when Nation said she couldn’t take it off. The girl had made a promise to Tyler and Josh to never take it off and neither she nor the boys had broken that promise.

“You say that every time you get a tattoo. So you’ll probably be saying it again sometime soon,” Dan noted.

And he was right. Two days before she left for tour with Twenty One Pilots she went out and had Fall Away tattooed across her fingers. The song had a great meaning to her even though Dan couldn’t quite figure out why. He was happy to see her excitement when the letters had been finished, however.

 

**

 

“Is it bad that I kind of missed living in a van,” Nation asked as she helped Josh and Tyler lode the rest of the equipment into the trailer.

“You do realize you can come on my bus right,” Brendon asked her as he helped as well. He had his crew loading his equipment and Nation called him over and forced him to help her and the duo.

Nation shrugged. “I’m here for Tyler and Josh, why wouldn’t I ride with them.”

“She makes a point,” Dallon said from beside Brendon. “Where are they anyway?”

“Ran back to Josh’s because he forgot his lucky drumsticks,” Nation told him as they shut the back of the trailer. Panic! tour bus was just a few yards away and after theirs was the Fall Out Boy bus. It the last length of the Save Rock and Roll tour and Nation was thrilled to be coming along. She had almost completely forgotten that they were all touring together. “Where’s Ryan? I figured you’d drag him with you.”

“Visiting his parents this week. He’s going  to meet us at the Vegas stop,” Brendon told her and she nodded. “I don’t think he knows your touring with us so when he sees you he’ll probably try and convince you to stay on our bus. Besides, not like it isn’t yours too.”

Nation shook off his words. “It’ll be mine again when it’s painted for the next album. Until then, I’ll stick to the van. Besides, you guys never experienced the joys of touring in a van and sleeping on top of four other people for months on end. It’s humbling.”

“Really? I just thought it was gross,” Josh said as he came up beside Nation. He smiled as he held up his drum sticks, “I got ‘em.”

“I can see that,” Nation noted with a laugh as Tyler came up and offered her a sandwich to which she raised an eyebrow to before slowly taking it from his hands.

“What?” He asked before biting into his own. “It’s peanut butter. Figured you’d want one.”

She shrugged before taking a bite of her newly obtained meal. “I didn’t eat this morning anyway. Thanks, Ty.”

“You’re welcome. That was why I made you one,” Tyler said as she leant against the van. “You guys know when we’re supposed to be heading out?”

“Pete said he’d sh-“

“LET’S ROLL BITCHES!” They heard Pete familiar voice cry out followed by everyone eager shouts in return. Nation laughed and exchanged smiled with Brendon as they both remembered all the times Pete would just shout at the top of his lungs from his office to let the rest of the record company know something even though he has an intercom system and a cell phone.

“See you guys in Seattle,” Dallon grinned before heading towards his bus.

“Later, Tyler, Josh,” Brendon said before turning to go as well but Nation caught him by the wrist. “Bye, Nation,” Brendon smiled and laughed causing her to roll her eyes.

“Bye, Brenny.”

“Oh Jesus Christ, I haven’t heard someone call me that in years,” Brendon laughed as he started to walk away causing Nation’s grin to widen as Josh opened to the door to the van.

“Hey Nation, want a seat or the mattress?” Tyler asked.

“Who would I be sharing with where?”

“Matt’s driving,” Josh said, referring to their manager, “Dan’s got shotgun, I plan on taking up the back seats and Tyler usually passes out on the mattress and awaits death.”

“I’ll test my fate with Ty,” Nation shrugged. She knew the dangers of being in the back of the van. It’s just a mattress in the back so if they were to get into an accident there’s no telling what would happen to her. She didn’t want Tyler to be back there but she also knew there was no stopping him so she figured if he was going to risk death he wasn’t going to do it alone.

Tyler shook his head with a smile before high fiving his best friend.

An hour later they were on the interstate. Everyone was quiet, Josh and Dan having passed out ten minutes into the drive. Tyler and Nation were both laid down in the back leaning on each other, whispering back and worth as to not disturb the others sleep or annoy Matt.

“Remember when you gave Josh and I these bracelets,” Tyler asked as he tugged on Nation’s.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about that a few weeks ago.

“Did you notice how we took it into our emblem?” Tyler asked curiously and Nation nodded.

“Black represents the people, right?”

Tyler nodded. “You aren’t necessarily Twenty One Pilots but at the same time you are. _We are Twenty One Pilots and so are you:_ I was kind of just talking to you at shows when I said that. But, I realized that I wasn’t. All of the fans are too. You’re just our first one, I guess.”

A soft smile curled at Nation’s lips. “Glad to know I helped you realize something important.”

“And that is?”

“That you don’t get famous for knowing people or being talented. Those sort of people get ignored every day. The only difference between you and some people on Youtube is that you put out enough heart to pull someone into your clique. Not many people can do that, you know? You’re not what made you famous, your fans are,” Nation explained to Tyler, her eyes trained on the stained ceiling of the van. She wondered what the hell had stained it, but knowing what stupid stuff Josh and Tyler could get into occasionally, she thought it was better if she didn’t ask.

“I never thought about it that way.”

“Really?”

“I just thought they were a piece of us, really and truly,” Tyler admitted, “I didn’t realize they’re what made us _us._ ”

“Most people don’t, Ty, and that’s why the sellout. They start to play what was selling rather than what needs to be listened to.”

 

**

 

“So, what’s the set list,” Nation asked after they had finally arrived in Seattle. Tyler handed over a sheet of paper listing eight songs. Nation skimmed it over quickly and carefully. She knew everyone by heart. “Short list.”

Tyler laughed, “We’re the opening band, not the headliner.”

“Yeah, I know,” Nation joked, “I’m just used to the two hour set lists. Short lists are better though. It lets you put everything into each song from the get go without having to worry about passing out at the end.

Tyler gave her a curious smile before pointing towards Car Radio and Kitchen Sink, “You remember your parts?” Nation laughed, giving him his answer. “Do you know Fall Away?”

Nation balled her hands into fists, lining up her knuckles to reveal the two words tattooed across them. Tyler’s eyes widened at the sight. He hadn’t seen her knew tattoos yet and to think that one had to do with him.

“Y-you had it tattooed,” Tyler stammered, his wide. “That’s insane!”

Nation chuckled, “You know how much that song means to me, Ty.”

“Well, I mean, I hope it does. I wrote it for you,” Tyler tells her causing her to nod. She remembered the first time Tyler made her listen to it. Nation had broken down crying before pulling her friend in to a tight hug. “It’s just. I never thought it was worthy enough for someone to put it on their body. Like, that’s insane to me.”

“Well, I guess I’m insane then,” Nation laughed.

“Nation,” Nation and Tyler turned on their heels at the sound of Brendon’s voice. They were on the stage about to start their quick sound check before Panic! and Fall Out Boy had theirs. “I have a question.”

“I have an answer.”

“Sing _Build God, then We’ll Talk_ with me,” Brendon’s face was nothing but smiling and Nation couldn’t help but smile at the title, well half the title, of the first song they recorded together. Just hours before it had been recorded they were at each other’s throats and after that moment they were as close as two people could be.

“What?”

“You know, the first song we ever recorded together, right before we went and redid the whole album,” Brendon explained to her as if she were clueless.

“Brendon, I barely remember the lyrics, first of all,” Nation began causing Tyler to scuff. He opened his mouth to speak but Nation blindly reached out and slapped her hand over his mouth before continuing to speak, “And I’m still not a part of Panic! again, yet. I don’t think we should touch that live until after we put out another album with the three of us.”

A disappointed look appeared on the singers face causing Nation to sigh and rub her temple. She hated telling him no, but she also knew that if she came back unannounced it would be more entertaining to watch the fans flip.

“Ryan said the same thing,” Brendon admitted. “I asked him to come out and sing Northern Downpour with me.”

Nation couldn’t help but laugh. “Anything else and he might have said yes. The two of you come out with Northern Downpour and not only will they know that he’s coming back, but it’ll be dead obvious that you got married.” Brendon went to speak again but Nation cut him off, a sympathetic look on face as she did so, “Ryan said that too, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Brendon sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just miss preforming with you guys.”

Nation smiled softly before pulling him into a hug and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Soon, Bren. Soon.”

“I know. Now go get through sound check. You guys only have longer so you can get through those songs you’re in,” Brendon told her before smiling and waving as he disappeared from the stage, probably back to his dressing room to find Ryan.

“You’d think he was a lost puppy,” Tyler joked after he left.

“Remind you of someone?”

“Josh.”

“Exactly.”

 

**

 

The music started and Nation stood back stage still as Tyler and Josh rushed out. She was dressed in ripped black jeans, her orange high top converse and her first Panic! at the Disco t-shirt that she had made with sharpies from their first photo shoot. She tossed her microphone back and forth between her hands as Tyler jumped over the piano, hitting the floor just as he began the first song of the night.

“I wake up fine and dandy, but then by the time I find it handy to rip my heart apart and start planning my crash landing I go up, up, up, up to the ceiling. Then I feel myself start leaving like an old man’s hair receding. I pleading please, oh please, on my knees, repeatedly asking why its got to be like this. Is this living free? I don’t wanna be the one, be the one with the sun’s blood on my hands. I tell the moon, take this weapon forged in darkness. Some see a pen, I see a harpoon.”

Nation rushed out onto stage and smiled and waved at the crowd as she took center stage next to Tyler. They all screamed like crazy, most recognizing her with ease. Tyler through his arm around her shoulders and they both brought their mics to their lips as they sang the next line.“I’ll stay awake, cos the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight.”

“How you all doing tonight!?” Nation asked, knowing she had a few seconds to do so before the chorus kicked off. She grinned as they screamed back at her before she and Tyler exchanged happy looks before Nation took over the next verse on her own, her voice ringing out.

“Why am I not scared in the morning?  
I don't hear those voices calling,  
I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,  
I swear I heard demons yelling,  
Those crazy words they were spelling,  
They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone.”

                Tyler nodded for her to take the next verse on her own as well and she continued, this time putting all her heart and soul into it. Her emotions seemed to sore through the air with the words.

“But I'll tell them,  
Why won't you let me go?  
Do I threaten all your plans?  
I'm insignificant.  
Please tell them you have no plans for me.  
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?  
I'll tell them.”

Tyler grinned as she finished before motioning for the crowded to make some noise. They screamed in response causing her to smile and laugh before running over the Josh’s drum kick. He grinned when he saw her and she pointed down at his kick down, mouthing her question. He nodded and a second later she was standing up on it looking down at the crowd.

Tyler burst into the next verse.

“On the eve of a day that's forgotten and fake,  
And the trees they await and clouds anticipate,  
The start of a day when we put on our face,  
A mask that portrays that we don't need grace,  
On the eve of a day that is bigger than us,  
But we open our eyes 'cause we're told that we must,  
And the trees wave their arms and the clouds try to plead,  
Desperately yelling there's something we need,  
I'm not free, I asked forgiveness three times,  
Same amount that I denied, I three-time mvp'ed this crime,  
I'm afraid to tell you who I adore, won't tell you who I'm singing towards,  
Metaphorically I'm a whore, and that's denial number four.”

Tyler continued into the chorus as Nation just looked around at the crowd. She was thrilled to see people in the pit who knew the words to the song. It was great to know that Josh and Tyler had such a growing and supportive fan base.

“But I'll tell them,  
Why won't you let me go?  
Do I threaten all your plans?  
I'm insignificant,  
Please tell them, you have no plans for me,  
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?  
I'll tell them, you have no plans for me,  
I will set my soul on fire,  
What have I become?  
I'll tell them,  
I'll tell them,  
I'll tell them,  
I'll tell them.”

The music almost disappeared when Nation brought the mic back up to her lips. “Please tell them, you have no plans for me, I will set my soul on fire, what have I become? I'm sorry.”

Her breaths were heavy as the song finished. The fans screamed as Nation dropped her arm to her side and looked out a smile on her face. She had no idea how much she had missed this.

“Hi, everybody,” Tyler said a smile on his face as he went over to his piano, sitting down. The screamed in response causing him to chuckle. “I’m Tyler. My man on the drums over there is Josh. If you don’t know who she is, you’re kind of pathetic.”

Nation smiled and laughed as she took a step off the drums and moved towards the edge of the stage. Fans in the pitch reached out for her but stood far enough out of their reach that she wouldn’t get tripped up.

“I’m Nation. Yes, that’s my real name,” The girl laughed. “I’m not actually in this band, if you didn’t know. I kind of just have a habit of popping up everywhere.”

“You’ve played with who? You were actually about of MCR and Panic! But then you played with Fall Out Boy, Green Day, and who else?”

“Blink-182, Black Veil Brides, you guys,” Nation continued on. “If they’ve been to Warped Tour I’ve either recorded with them, or played a show live. Bands tend to think I’m adorable and drag me on stage,” She joked. “Anyway, anyway, Ty, continue, this isn’t my show and you two aren’t headlining either. We’re on a schedule here.”

“You’re the one that kept talking,” Tyler laughed before he looked towards Josh. They locked eyes and nodded together for a few beats before Tyler’s began to play a steady melody. “I don’t wanna fall, fall way.”

“I don’t wanna fall, fall away,” Nation echoed. “I’ll keep the lights on in this place.”

“Cos I don’t wanna fall, fall way.”

Tyler’s eyes locked onto his hands as he played. Nation glanced over as Josh began to play before walking towards Tyler. She sank down to the ground; leaning against the front of Tyler’s piano as she listened intently. The lights dimmed and a spot light focused on Tyler.

“I disguise and I will lie and I will take my precious time as the days melt away as I stand in line and I die as I wait as I wait on my crime and I'll try to delay what you make of my life. But I don't want your way, I want mine I'm dying and I'm trying. But believe me I'm fine. But I'm lying, I'm so very far from fine.”

Nation’s head leant back against the instrument as her eyes closed. Tyler sang the chorus with passion, very much aware of Nation’s state in front of him.

“Every time I feel selfish ambition is taking my vision and my crime is my sentence. Repentance is taking commission. It's taking a toll on my soul. I'm screaming submission and, I don't know if I am dying or living 'Cause I will save face for name's sake, abuse grace, take aim to obtain a new name and a newer place. But my name is lame. I can't walk and I ain't the same and my name became a new destiny to the grave.”

Tears came to the girl’s eyes and Tyler fought back his own. The song represented Nation in more ways than one. Tyler belted out the chorus one final time and the song came to a finish. The lights went out at the end as planned and the audience screamed in response. Nation took a breath before bringing her mic to her lips and sing.

“I don't wanna fall away. So let’s keep the lights on in this place. Cos I don't wanna fall, fall away.”

Her voice rang out and the lights turned back on, revealing running mascara and ruffled hair.

 

**

 

“Nobody thinks what I think. Nobody dreams when they blink. Think things on the brink of blasphemy. I’m my own shrink. Think things are after me, at my catastrophe, at my kitchen sink. You don’t know what that means. Because a kitchen sink to you is not a kitchen sink to me. Okay friend, are you searching for purpose? Then write something, yeah it might be worthless. Then paint something, it might be wordless. Pointless curses, nonsense verses, you’ll see purpose start to surface. No one else is dealing with your demons meaning maybe defeating them can be the beginning of your meaning, friend.”

“Go away,” Nation sang next to Tyler. She repeated this over and over before changing her phrase and repeating it again. “Leave me alone!”

“Nobody thinks what you think,” Tyler picked back up tapping the side of Nation’s head causing her to crinkle her nose in response. “No one. Empathy might be on the brink of extinction. They will play a game and say they know what you’re going through and I tried to come up with an artistic way to say they don’t know you. And neither do I so here’s a prime example of a standup guy. Here’s my sister and her head screwed up, but that’s alright.”

Nation took a breath before taking her verse. If she stumbled she’d look like an idiot but when done right she sounds like a god. “Time gains momentum in the moment when I’m living in ‘em. I winning momentary sinning a moment passing after. A re-beginning moments, mending memories, pretending enemies are frenemies, sending straight to bending me.  My bad behavior but I bet I could have been a better man. Copy and paste caught me, and copy, better rhymes bother me. The better the rhythm the badder I am but I bet I'll battle with 'em battle. Better I am, gambling man, better bet I am a gambling man, I am?”

Tyler smiled as she came to an end before using her shoulder to prop up his arm.

“Go away,” Tyler sang.

Nation sang the words back.

“Go away.”

“You go away,” Nation joked as he rolled his eyes.

“Leave me alone,” Tyler sang and nation harmonized with him. They repeated the line several times together before Tyler stopped singing. Nation continued and watched as he walked back towards the piano.

“Don’t leave me alone,” Nation sang as her arm reached out to her friend. He harmonized with her before the song came to an end.  They finished the show, playing several more songs before ending with Car Radio. It felt like the first time they had played it together in Tyler’s basement.

The show came to an end and the trio stood in front of the crowd with their arms around each other. Nation was stuck between her two best friend’s and she normally would have cringed from the amount of sweat they had but she was in the same state, so she couldn’t complain.

“We are Twenty One Pilots and so are you,” Tyler says and the trio takes one last bow before heading off stage. Tyler and Josh instantly head back to the dressing room and Nation does the same. She quickly uses a towel to dry off all her sweat before changing into a fresh shirt. She bids Tyler and Josh farewell for now before heading off down the hall to Panic! dressing room.

She knocks quickly before opening the door to see Brendon and Dallon preparing to head on stage in about twenty minutes. “How’d it go?” Brendon asked.

“That was the most fun I’ve had in a while,” Nation laughed, “and it was probably the most I’ve ever ran around stage. There’s probably going to be a lot of screaming for me during your set now, by the way,” Nation told him.

“So come out,” Dallon said causing her to laugh.

“That’s be like Leathermouth opening for FrnkIero and the Celebration, followed by Death Spells,” Nation explained to him and Brendon winced.

“Oo, poor Frank,” Brendon noted and Nation nodded.

There was a moment of silence before Brendon looked at Nation and spoke, “So you’re gunna come out?”

“Yeah.”

 

 

**

 

 

“I’m assuming you people are aware of the little girl back stage,” Brendon said randomly towards the end of the set. The audience screamed in response causing the man to laugh.

“I’m not a little girl,” Nation said as soon as a tech guy handed her a working mic. “I’m a little woman.” The crowd screamed as Nation finally returned to the stage. “No need to scream. I’m just a person.”

The music started behind her and Nation’s eyes widened as Brendon ran over to her with a grin on his face. The crowd exploded when they recognized the song. Brendon threw his arm around Nation as he started to count off her intro for her and she sighed before raising the mic to her lips. She had told him no earlier but here she is, singing anyway.

“It's these substandard motels on the lalalalala corner of 4th and Fremont Street. Appealing only 'cause they are just that un-appealing any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering. The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde, And the habit of decomposing right before your very lalalala eyes,” She decomposed as she sang the last line and Brendon couldn’t help but smile

The two harmonized with each at the chorus, “Along with the people inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy. Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy.”

Brendon went off on his own. “Tonight tenants range from: a lawyer and a virgin. Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie”

Nation came back in as they sang the lyrics together. They couldn’t help but smile at each other as they sang. It had been years since the last time they had walked out on stage together. He reached out his hand to her and smile grinned as she took it.

“She's getting a job at the firm come Monday.  
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney  
moonlighting aside, she really needs his money.  
Oh, wonderful caricature of intimacy.  
  
Yeah (Yeah)

And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"  
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"  
as he said to the Mrs. Well, only hours before,  
after he had left, she was fixing her face in a compact.  
There was a terrible crash  
There was a terrible crash between her and the badge  
She spilled her purse and her bag, and held a "purse" of a different kind.  
  
Along with the people inside  
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy  
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy”

                For the next verse, Brendon sang the first two verses before Nation came in for the final two.

There are no raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses.  
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things.  
  
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses  
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things.  
  
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy  
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy  
  
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses  
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things.  
  
Raindrops on roses and the girls in white dresses  
And sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things.”

               

                The song came to an end and the final cord rang out. Brendon and Nation turned and smiled at each other once again before Brendon pulled her into a tight hug and pressed a kiss to her cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I am very aware that both this story and Shattered Memorizes are both filled with typos and shit. But I can assure you that once I finish writing this story that I am going to go back and edit both of them completely before moving onto the third in this series. Yes, you read that correctly, third. I've got the story line laid out in my head I just got to get it all written down for you lovely people. But, now i'm wasting your time. Go my young one, READ
> 
> and it's be lovely if yall commented I love hearing feed back from yall

A week later, Nation sat around several tables pushed together in the middle of IHop celebrating the performance and Nation’s return to the stage. The girl’s mouth watered as her plate of pancakes was set in front of her. She immediately smothered them in the blueberry sauce and dug in causing all the men to chuckle at her eagerness.

                “What?” She asked through a mouth full of food and syrup dripping down her chin. She looked across the table at Dallon who tapped his chin in response. She swallowed before mumbling a curse, picking up her napkin to whip her face.

                “Have fun tonight, then?” Pete asked from his seat next to his niece.

                She nodded excitedly. “I knew I missed it, but being out there made me realize just how much. Especially singing with Brenny.”

                Brendon wore a lopsided grin from the other side of the table next to Andy and Josh after she spoke.

                “How’s Mikey,” Nation asked her uncle curiously.

                Pete shrugged causing her to raise an eyebrow. “He’s fine. We skype every night. Man keeps complaining about me not being home,” He chuckles.

                “He’s just being Mikey then,” Nation laughed.

                “Yeah, nothing unusual. He’s visiting your parents next week,” Pete told her just as she reached for her coffee. Her hand froze for a moment before continuing on.

                “That’s nice.”

                “He misses you, you know,” Pete reminded her causing her gaze to linger on her coffee.

                The rest of the men had branched off into their own conversations. Josh, Andy, and Brendon were in a deep conversation about the drums whilst Dallon, Tyler, Patrick, and Joe were all arguing over whether the bass or guitar was better.

                “I just talked to Mikey last week,” Nation replied coolly.

                Pete gave her a knowing look causing her to look away from her uncle. “You know who I’m talking about.”

                “It’s too late for that, Uncle Pete. The past is the past. I’d rather leave it as is than cause more drama.”

                “Then why did you fly out to California to see Brendon?”

                “Because I wanted to fix things,” Nation said with her brow furrowed. A moment of realization dawned on her face before her gaze switched back to her drink. “Just not with Gerard. It’d be better for both our heads if I don’t touch it.”

                Pete gave her a sad look when she said her father’s name. She had never called him by his first name. Pete could just imagine the look on his brother-in-law’s if she ever said it in front of Gerard. It’d tear him apart.

                “Why not?”

                “Because I’ve hurt him enough,” She snapped at him and the table grew silent, all eyes on her.

                Nation pushed out from the table and rose to her feet. She dug around in her wallet before dropping a twenty on the table next to her plate and leaving the restaurant. Her feet took her directly towards the Panic! bus because she knew that Tyler and Josh would want to talk about her storming out like that whilst Brendon would just laugh and try and hand her a beer. The latter seemed like a more relaxing outcome.

                She stood outside the doors and stared at the passcode before remembering Brendon’s force of habit. She quickly typed 3425 into the keypad followed by the sound of the door unlocking. She pushed it open before quickly heading towards the back of the bus.

                Freezing in the middle of the bus it finally dawned on her. It was the same bus they had on their first tour. The same shitty ass couch they had started with now covered in countless stains. The same table in front of it with Kool Aid stains across it from the countless times Spencer had spilled his drinks on the bus. Nothing had changed but the paintjob on the outside of the bus.

                Slowly but surely Nation made her way to the back of the bus. The curtains were pulled back on every bunk and it didn’t take much for Nation to notice Brendon’s things in his usual bunk with Dallon’s in the bunk across from his. That’s when her eyes darted towards Ryan’s old bunk and a small smile formed on her lips when she saw the bunk was well kept with a couple of Ryan’s things already there waiting for his arrival.

                What she didn’t expect was for her old bunk to be completely empty. The other Spencer and Jon’s old bunks were cluttered with a few of Brendon and Dallon’s things, mainly trash and shit both men were still trying to figure out how it got on the bus in the first place.

                But her bunk was completely untouched. It looked exactly as it did when she had left, the same old pillow and blankets just as she left them. Photos of her younger self with her family and friend were still taped against the walls of the bunk and she couldn’t help but laugh when she saw a few pairs of clothes and gum wrappers at the end of the bed.

                How certain had he been that she was going to come back?

                “I knew you’d be here,” Brendon commented from behind her causing her to jump slightly. “I couldn’t bare the touch your bunk.”

                Nation scuffed. “I can tell.”

                The woman sat down in her bunk and smiled at the photos on the wall. Half of them were polaroids that she hadn’t seen in years and survived as reminders of the many things she had lost over the last few years. Her eyes locked onto the gum wrappers and she immediately started collecting them to throw away.

                “Couldn’t have hurt you to at least clean up after me,” Nation joked as she went back into the makeshift living room on the bus, tossing the wrappers into the bin before going back into the bunks. She carefully collected her old clothes and folded them neatly before opening one of the drawers under her bunk to put them away.

                Nation froze, however, when she saw the notebook sitting the drawer. Slowly but surely, she pulled out the composition notebook and replaced it with the clothes. Brendon’s eyes lingered on the book as he instantly recognized it. The singer hadn’t seen it since they had begun writing Vices and Virtues before she left Panic!

                “Is that actually,” Brendon’s voice trailed off as she opened it flipping through the pages until it laid open to the page containing the lyrics to Green Gentlemen. Brendon came up behind her, resting his hands on her hips as he leaned over her shoulder to view the notebook. Nation tensed at the contact, her eyes snapping down to his hands.

                A moment later she relaxed into the familiar hold, nostalgic for the small moments like this that the two used to share together all those years ago.

                Nation continued to flip through the pages filled with countless lyrics that had never been sung outload. Trade Mistakes passed by followed by the last thing she had written in the notebook: a song by the title of Golden Days.

                A small smile tugged on Nation’s lips as the melody returned to her head, long since forgotten until that moment.

                “Do you remember how it goes?” Brendon asked, his lips against her hair almost making her shutter from the closeness.

                “I found a pile of Polaroids in the crates of a record shop. They were sexy, sexy looking back from a night that time forgot. Mhmmm,” Nation sang quietly more to herself than to Brendon, but she could almost hear his smile. “Boy he was something debonair in 1979 and she had Farrah Fawcett hair. Carafes of blood red wine. Mhmm.”

“In the summertime,” Brendon voice sang softly in her ear causing her breath the hitch, “in the summertime.”

A million things were running through Nation’s head at that point but not one was telling her to stop whatever the hell Brendon was trying to do.

“Oh don't you wonder when the light begins to fade? And the clock just makes the colors turn to grey/Forever younger growing older just the same/All the memories that we make will never change/We'll stay drunk, we'll stay tan, let the love remain/And I swear that I'll always paint you/Golden days, golden days,” Nation’s voice was still softly and at that point Brendon was either trying to do everything in his power to make her uncomfortable or had completely forgotten that both he and Nation were in very happy relationships at the moment.

“Golden days, golden days,” Brendon repeated those two words and Nation shook her head and quickly pulled away from Brendon.

A laugh escaped the man’s lips as she watched her spin on her heels and give him a wide expression as she lashed out at him. “Stop it! Stop it right now! I’m very happy with Dan and you’re bloody _married_. So Mr. Ross I suggest you stop thinking whatever the hell you’re thinking and phone you’re husband because I’m sure he’d be much more willing to do whatever you’re thinking than I.” Nation froze when she realized he was laughing. “You were fucking with me the whole time, weren’t you?”

“You get an accent when you’re angry now,” Brendon commented with a lopsided smile, “you’ve been in London _way_ to long.”

Nation grabbed her pillow and wacked Brendon upside the head with it. “You’re ridiculously horrible. You know that, right?”

“Once again, accent,” Brendon laughed. “Calm down and act like you’re from Jersey before I throw you into the worst part of your favorite state.”

Nation crossed her arms as she glared up at the taller man. “I’ll have you know that my favorite state is Maryland. Thank you very much. Seems you still don’t pay that close attention, after all these years.”

“Shouldn’t surprise you,” Brendon laughed as he climbed up into his bunk before pulling his phone out of his pocket. Nation raised an eyebrow at him as he pressed a few buttons before raising the device to his ear. “Now shush. I’m calling my husband. God I love being able to say that. By the way, if you just want to forever refer as Mr. Ross that’d be amazing.”

“You act like a fucking high schooler sometimes,” Nation laughed as she climbed up to sit next to her friend.

She could hear the phone ringing and a moment later Ryan picked up the phone.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hey, Ryan,” Brendon smiled and then laughed as Nation leaned over to speak into the phone.

“Hi, Ryro!”

Nation grinned as she heard the man laugh, “Hello to you too, Nation.”

“I was calling to inform you that my plan to fuck with her as soon as I got her alone worked,” Brendon spoke proudly into the phone as Nation pouted. Ryan’s laughter could be heard through the phone causing Brendon’s smile to only grow. Nation rolled her eyes at her friends banter.

 

**

 

“Nation, why are you so good at Guitar Hero?” Dallon asked as she once again defeated Dallon in said game.

“Spent a week with Tyler and Josh mastering it,” Brendon laughed from besides Nation on the couch where the three of them sat. Nation smiled at his words, glad he had remembered. Dallon shot them both a confused look before shaking his head.

“So, are you ever going to go back to the guys’ van or have you permanently relocated?” Brendon asked curiously as he nudged the woman beside him. “I mean you’ve been here two weeks.”

Ryan came in from the bunks as his husband spoke. “Tyler’s brother, what was his name? Zander? Zack? Yeah, Zack, just joined so Josh asked if we’d keep her.”

“That’s rude,” Nation replied with a laugh. But she knew it was for the best. They could only fit so many people at once in that van. In that one week, Nation became thankful that Gerard had left her with her grandparents when My Chem had toured during the van years. “But smart.”

“I also just realized something,” Ryan commented as he sat down in Brendon’s lap. “This is the lineup for the next album.”

Nation smiled up at the guitarist at his words. She had missed Panic! And even though neither she or Ryan had officially returned to the band yet, they were back together.

“Just can’t separate us,” Brendon grinned as he pulled Ryan back in his lap, arms wrapped protectively around the man as he rested his head on the other’s shoulder.  Nation grinned at them as she pulled out her phone, opening up the camera to snap a few photos of them, neither noticing. Dallon laughed at her antics but couldn’t help but awe when she showed the photos to him on her phone.

“What?”

Nation leant over and showed to photo to Ryan who grinned. “You should send that to me.”

“Only if you hang it over your mantelpiece.”

“Done deal.”

“You’re doing what now?” Brendon asked and Nation showed her the photo causing him to roll his eyes with a smile dancing on his lips. “Still not gay.”

“Still married,” Ryan giggled as he turned his head to kiss his husband.

Dallon promptly stood up and headed back towards the bunk, “If I ever hear you two fucking on this bus I might hurl myself out the window.”

“Only if you throw me first,” Nation replied.

“I can manage that.”

Nation phone buzzed and when she checked it she saw it Pete had sent her a photo. It was a screenshot of what seemed to be a group chat between Pete, Mikey, Gerard, and Frank. A moment later her phone buzzed where Pete gave a short explanation of what was going on.

_Mikes and Gee were arguing over the best Doom Patrol character and it has quickly escalated._

_Mikey: FUCK YOU_

_Gerard: FUCK YOURSELF_

_Mikey: GO FUCK A COW_

_Gerard: GO FUCK A TOASTER AND TURN IT ON_

_Mikey: GO FUCK YOUR MOM_

_Gerard: SHE’S UR MOM TOO DUMBASS_

_Frank: youre sitting next to each other. Why are you texting_

_Pete: shhh let them keep going_

_Gerard: GO FUCK A WHALE_

_Mikey: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY I’M NOT INTEREST IN YOU LIKE THAT GERARD_

Nation had to stifle a laugh at Mikey and Gerard’s childish bickering. Ryan raised an eyebrow at her before leaning over her shoulder to read the texts. He smiled to himself and shook his head before going back to whispering back to Brendon about whatever.

_Nation: Add me_

A moment later Nation’s phone began to buzz like crazy as Mikey and Gerard continued to bicker. She quickly set her phone to silent as to keep it from going off every two seconds.

_Nation: BREAKING NEWS: Gerard Arthur Way and Michael James Way are both still giant fucking nerds that would die for fictional characters. Now, back to Pete with sports._

_Pete: This just in, Bronx Wentz, at only age 5, is faster than his own father. He may just be the best soccer player of his generation._

_Nation: wait who the fuck his Bronx_

_Mikey: your cousin….._

_Nation: I HAVE A COUSIN AND NO ONE TOLD ME HOW DARE YOU PEOPLE UR THE WORST FAMILY EVER I WANT TO MEET HIM SOMEONE SEND ME PICTURES IS HE CUTE_

_Gerard: Mikey, Pete, you done fucked up_

_Frank: (image)_

Nation let out an audible awe as she saw a picture of the five year old. He had sandy blond hair and big brown eyes and was honestly the cutest kid she had ever seen.

_Nation: okay, Bronx is my new favorite child and has won the cutest human being in the world award. When can I meet him_

_Mikey: I’m meeting up with you guys in Philly and he’s coming with me since the school year’s over_

_Nation: I’ve been blessed why is everyone in this family so cute_

_Gerard: cos we’re the Ways_

_Mikey: I’m a Wentz_

_Frank: Shhhhhh, we don’t talk about that_

_Pete: Rude_

**

 

“What are you doing?” Brendon asked as Nation sat in her bunk messing with a camera. He sat down next to her as she fiddled with the settings on the device.

“I haven’t made a video in four months so I figured I’d do a sort of tour of the bus kind of thing. I had planned on doing this like eight months ago but it never happened. Want to help?” Brendon raised an eyebrow at her causing her to chuckle, “Talking to the camera is like doing an interview without the interviewer… if that makes any sense what so ever. Anyway, I sent out a tweet asking for tour related questions and we’re going to answer some of them in the video, preferably with some funny ass story. I was going to film when we got to the hotel.”

They were finally on their way to a hotel after their show from that night. It was the first hotel stop they had all tour and Dallon had been talking about it all week. He seemed really anxious to sleep in a real bed. But after being informed that all of Panic! would be sharing a hotel room, he and Nation both exchanged looks of annoyance. They were not thrilled to be stuck sharing the same room as Ryan and Brendon. Each band managed to get their hands on one room each and the rest of the tour crew managed to get three more rooms, but there were at least five people in each of those rooms.

“What about-“

“Dallon and Ryan are gunna go hang out with FOB for like an hour so that I can film. Figured you would too unless you want to film with me.”

Brendon shrugged. “Sure, why not. Sounds fun to me.”

“Great. Just make sure you pocket your ring. Don’t need rumors going around about you with anyone, even if they’re about you and Ryan,” Nation noted and Brendon twisted the wedding band before slipping it off, unused to the feeling of not wearing it unless on stage. “And move your class ring to your ring finger to hide that tan line.”

Brendon brow furrowed before he looked down at his hand. There was an obvious tan line around his finger that he hand never noticed before.

“How do you even notice these thing?” Brendon questioned her before slipping his wedding ring back on.

Nation shrugged her shoulders before turning off her camera and shoving it back into its case. “The YouTube fans, especially Dan and Phil’s, pay close attention to every little detail. You get very little privacy in the YouTube community once your channel picks up. Some fans can be a bit obsessive. God, you should see Vidcon. It’s ridiculous.”

 

**

 

“Sup, peasants,” Nation started her intro causing Brendon to burst into laughter from off camera.

“Is that seriously how you start your videos?”

Nation shot him a confused look, “Why does everyone ask that? Christ, you’d think I was calling them *******.”

“Even I know you should bleep that.”

Nation looked towards the camera with an innocent smile. Before laughing and shaking her head. “Let’s try that again shall we?”

“How many times does it take you to get through your intro when you film with someone else?” Brendon asked curiously. He was standing off camera near the desk in the hotel room whilst Nation sat on the bed with the camera facing towards her on the tripod.

Nation shrugs. “Phil laughs about it every time we film. Dan and I can never get an intro done together so we usually skip it and  go straight into the video and everyone else laughs hysterically the at the first attempt for an intro. Except Tyler Oakley, we managed to get through it the first take. I later learned that he’s followed my family I was fourteen.”

Brendon could help but smile as he rolled his eyes. His eyes travel to her left hand, locking onto her engagement ring. “Wait, aren’t they gunna see your ring?”

Nation looked at her ring and then back at the camera. “Hey, guys. Dan and I are engaged.” She then looked back towards her friend. “Problem solved.”

A few minutes later, after several more attempts at a smooth intro, they finally nailed it.

“Please welcome, one of my closest friends, Mr. Brendon Urie.”

“What up, guys,” Brendon grinned as he plopped down next to Nation. He smiled at the camera and gave a little wave before setting his hands in his lap comfortably.

“For those of you who didn’t see the fucking shit storm we caused when Brendon rudely dragged me on stage during the Seattle show, you probably don’t know that Brendon and I are back to being fucking idiots with each other. No, we’re not producing music any time soon so don’t go start coming up with theories. If you do, you’ll just end up more disappointed than every time a new MCR reunion theory comes up with what looks like possible evidence,” Nation rambled and Brendon stifled a laugh. “So, enough of that, what are we doing today, Brenny?”

“I have no idea,” Brendon replied straight faced as he looked at the camera. Nation blinked rapidly as she turned her head to look at him. He glanced over at her before erupting into giggles. “What?! You’re terrible at explaining things.”

Nation let out an exasperated sigh before picking up her phone form besides her on her bed. She opened up her camera roll where the screenshots of the tweets she picked were stored. “You make a point. Anywho, the two of us are going to be answering some questions from you guys about what it’s like to live on a tour bus.”

“Yes,” Brendon confirmed with a laugh, trying to some affirming, “Because Nation was raised on one so she knows a fuck tone of shit about them.”

Nation shrugs. “I mean basically.” Her eyes go back to her phone and she reads the first question, “What’s the number one thing you always bring on tour that the average person wouldn’t think of?”

“Nyquil,” Brendon nodded and Nation couldn’t help but laugh. “No, you don’t understand. That first week that we toured without you we all got fucking sick and Jon got so bad he had to sit out a show. He was the first one sick and one by one the rest of us were sick and soon enough the fucking stage crew was sick too. Jon puked and then passed out after saying something about his head killing him and we thought he died for like five minutes.”

“Why have I never heard about this,” Nation laughed and Brendon shrugged.

“I don’t know. It was horrible though. The night Jon had missed there were barf bags everywhere. I feel bad for the band that played the night after us. They probably got sick just because we were there.”

Nation shook her head as she laughed. “And to think I was going to say instant coffee.”

“That’s a bit more fitting for you though,” Brendon smiled causing Nation to only shrug her shoulders. She passed her phone over to Brendon so that he could read the next question, “How do you choose bunks?”

“We fight to the death,” Nation spoke flatly and Brendon nodded in confirmation as they both looked at the camera with straight faces. But, one glance at each other and they both burst into giggles. “No, no. the first time we toured I threatened to murder anyone that took my bunk – which is the bottom left on the this bus – and then the rest of the guys kind of just grabbed theirs at random. I usually had the bunk on the left middle touring with MCR so it became a force of habit. I think I’d have a heart attack if I had to sleep somewhere else.”

“So basically you picked a bunk when you were ten and decided that was it for the rest of your life?”

Nation nodded. “Yeah, basically. You and the guys kind of just followed my lead with the same bunks thing. I was surprised though when I walked onto the Panic! bus though for the first time since the split. I wasn’t really expecting all the shit I had left there to still be lying around.”

“What can I say,” Brendon laughed, “I’m lazy as fuck.”

“It’s obvious. Next question,” Nation said before looking between her phone and the camera with a blank expression. Later on she would edit in the hundreds of tweets that all read ‘Wurie.’ “Wurie? Really? That ship fucking sank guys, get over it and climb aboard the SS Dation. It’s much more productive. You’re literally more likely to find new Ryden photos than you are a Wurie kiss.”

She went to continue talking but Brendon cut her off by pressing his lips to hers. She froze. He pulled away, laughing his ass off.

“That was rude,” Nation stated.

“I know,” Brendon laughed, “I’d apologize but the look on your face was too much.”

Nation looked between her lap and the camera as she used the sleeve of her oversize hoodie – stolen from Dan – to wipe off her lips. “Dan will fight you.”

“He’d loose.”

“True. Sorry Dan. I love you, I swear,” Nation laughed, shaking her head.

“First Wurie kiss since 2011, how do you feel Nation?”

Nation gave the camera a scared look, “Abused.”

“Don’t say that people will take it seriously,” Brendon laughed causing Nation to join in as well.

“This video is a train wreck.”

“You’re a train wreck.”

“Your forehead’s a train wreck.”

“Have I told you that you sound British?”

Nation gave him an annoyed glare, “About a hundred times since tour started.”

“Well, you sound British.”

Nation looked between him and the camera before sighing. “Dan, we’re moving to Jersey. No options. I can’t stand this voice any longer.”

“Finally,” Brendon laughed, “maybe the Jersey accent will come back. That’d be a relief.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, Way.”

 

**

 

Brendon and Ryan were both passed out in bed together, curled up in each other’s arms. Dallon was sprawled out in the other bed whilst Nation sat behind the desk in the hotel room finishing up the final touches on her video. She was going to take advantage of the decent hotel wifi and upload the video at that ungodly hour.

Her phone buzzed from beside her and she picked it up, unlocking it as she pressed the save button on her video on extra time just to be sure she wasn’t going to lose it. Hazel eyes then locked onto the text message and she stared at it for a good ten minutes trying to decipher its meaning.

_Dad: Action Cat_


	6. Chapter 6

“Pete, can I talk to you for a second,” Nation spoke quickly as she approached Pete who was helping the stage crew pack up the equipment from the night. He spun on his heels at the sound of her voice after setting down the amps outside of the trailer where some of the men were loading the heaviest equipment.

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

She pulled out her phone and showed him the text from the night before. “You have any idea what the fuck he’s talking about?”

He read it before a small smile danced on his lips. “He’s releasing a single in a couple days. It might have to do with that.”

“Jesus Christ. He had to write a fucking song? Couldn’t he have just sent me a fucking text message,” Nation rambled with an annoyed tone in her voice.

“I’m mean technically-“

“Pete,” Nation held up her hand, “don’t go there.”

The man laughed, shaking his head before ruffling the girl’s hair causing her to crinkle he nose. The last time someone had done that to her she had been just a little kid. But, it felt nice to be treated like it was the good old days.

“Just wait for the song to come out and give it a listen,” Pete told her as he began to take a few steps backwards to go back to helping the stage crew. He turned around and began to walk away as Nation shook her head. Pete then turned back around and called back to her, “And the accent’s gone, if you hadn’t noticed. Seems like you’re slowly going back to be yourself.”

“Being myself?” Nation said to herself as she looked after him with a confused look. Her hand went up to her throat as she pondered his words. Had she been acting different?

Running a hand through her hair she quickly went to the contacts in her phone. She clicked on the one she wanted and held the phone up to her ear as she began walking towards the buses. Normally, she’d be with Pete helping tear everything down, but tonight there were too many things buzzing through her head.

“Hello?” The familiar voice came through the phone, sounding tired.

“Hey, Dan. I hope I didn’t wake you up,” Nation said, her eyes locked onto her feet as she walked.

She heard him shuffling, probably sitting up in bed. “No, no. You’re fine. It’s nine here anyway. I should probably make breakfast or something.”

“Let me guess, you just went to bed like two hours ago?” Nation giggled.

“Possibly,” Dan replied before chuckling. “Okay, yes. I’m terrible. You’re not here to remind me that I should probably have a decent sleeping schedule but fuck that. Anyway, what’s up? You usually wait until our skype calls to rant about something.”

“Do you think I’ve changed?”

“Huh?”

“It’s just, being here is really different from living with you in London and every once in a while when I say something or do something I’ll get this look. Like that look you get when Phil makes a joke that he normally wouldn’t and it kind of makes you go _who are you and what have you done with my friend_ ,” Nation rambled as she reached the Panic! bus. She leant against the side of the bus as she sank down to the ground. Her eyes went up to the sky where stars lit up beside the full moon.

“Nothing I’ve noticed. But I mean, if I compare you to you like four years ago, yes. It’s apart of growing up really. Everyone changes over time. Maybe they’re just like that because they haven’t seen you in a while,” Dan spoke calmly, waiting for her response.

“And this week on Dan is secretly a physiatrist,” Nation laughed.

Dan chuckled in response, shaking his head. “But, you understand what I’m saying right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

“So, what caused this suddenly existential crisis? This didn’t slowly progress otherwise you would have waited to call.”

Nation’s gaze traveled back down to her lap as she pulled her knees up to her chest, a small smile on her lips. Dan knew her too well. “Just something Pete said.”

“What?”

“He said my accents gone. That I’m slowly going back to being my old self,” Nation told him and she could imagine Dan’s face as he became confused.

“The hell is that supposed to mean. Although, you _have_ gone back to sounding like you’re from the states,” Dan commented causing her to roll her eyes.

She twisted the ring on her finger, her hazel eyes not wanting to leave the small gem attached to it. “Well, I _am_ from Jersey.”

“Oh yeah, didn’t you joke in your new video that we’re going to actually move to Jersey,” Dna laughed from the other end of the phone.

“I was just kidding. I think the world might collapse if you and Phil were separated,” Nation told him.

But, Dan saw past that. He knew from the look in her eyes during the video and by the tone in her voice that she actually did want to move back to her home state. She missed living in the states. She missed living near her family and having all her closest friends nearby. She didn’t have that many people in the UK.

“We could always look at house in the US, you know,” Dan replied. “It might be good with us getting married and everything. And we both want kids so we might as well find a bigger place before that happens so that we don’t have to worry about it down the line. Because I know you miss living in the US and we’ve been living in London together for years now and I wouldn’t mind the change especially if it makes you happy. The states are pretty great and I’ve always wanted my own house and-“

“Shut up,” Nation spoke flatly.

“What?”

“Shut up, you spork. You’re being too nice,” Nation told him. “You don’t have any family out here and not that many friends either and if I started touring again then-“

“Then I’d come with you. And I’m friends with the guys just like you are so I do have friends out there. And besides, you don’t have any family in the UK so what’s the difference between these situations besides one of us is far from family. It shouldn’t matter anyway as long as we’re with each other. I know you miss living in Jersey and I don’t mind moving out there with you.”

Nation let out a sigh as she looked back up at the sky tears threatening to spill. “Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Dan let out a laugh as he replied, “I love you too.” He yawned causing Nation to laugh. “Can I go back to sleep before I die now? That’d be lovely.”

“Yeah. Go back to sleep,” Nation told him.

“Brilliant. It’s late by you isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then, goodnight, love.”

“Good morning, Bear.”

With that, they both hung up the phone leaving them both in silence.

Dan rolled over in bed and stared at the ceiling of their bedroom and wondered how he managed to get so lucky, a small smile on his lips as he slowly drifted off back to sleep and Nation wondered the same as she stared up at the night sky.

“Yo, Nation, come on, we’re about to leave,” Brendon said as she stuck his head out the window of the bus.

She looked up at him before standing to her feet and heading inside the bus. She walked passed the men without and word and crawled into her bunk, falling asleep with a smile on her face.

 

**

 

Nation awoke from her dreams with a start. Sweat shined on her face and her breaths were ragged as her heart seemed to beat out of her chest. But the strange thing was, she couldn’t quite place what was wrong. Shaking her head, she used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the sweat from her face.

“You okay, Nation,” She heard Ryan ask.

“What?” She said and turned to head to see Ryan had pulled back the curtain of her bunk. Light shined through and she squinted at the sudden change in lighting. “Yeah, yeah. Just a dream. Nothing to worry about. Where we headed next again?”

Ryan chuckled, the concerned look on his face instantly disappearing. “To the airport to pick up your fiancé, his name’s Dan, if you had forgotten that too.”

“Oh shit, how’d I forget that,” Nation laughed as she sat up in her bunk a grin plastered across her face. She looked down at Dan’s oversized hoodie and her sweatpants. She didn’t feel the need to change but at the same time wanted to look nice for Dan.

Ryan noticed this and shook his head. “Dan said he prefers you in sweatpants once. Don’t bother.”

Nation watched him with curious eyes as he disappeared from the bunk area. How Ryan always seemed to remember these sorts of things, she would never know.

 

**

 

“DANNY!” Nation squealed when Dan came into view, dragging a suitcase behind him. A crooked grin appeared on his face as his eyes settled onto his fiancé.

“NATION!” He shouted back in just as much excitement as the woman ran towards the taller man. He dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around his fiancé as she crashed into hi, earning the smiles of the people surrounding them.

Brendon had gone with Nation into the airport, leaving Ryan and Dallon on the bus. Nation hadn’t wanted to go alone and Brendon had volunteered to escort her. Ryan would have gone but everyone had agreed that he shouldn’t. Every time they entered an airport, they seemed to cause some sort of scene and they didn’t need it getting out that Ryan was touring with them as well. There were already enough rumors that Nation was joining Panic! again. They didn’t need Ryan added to that mix if they wanted to surprise the fans with the next album.

A camera flashed and Nation groaned into Dan’s chest. “Why won’t they just leave us alone?”

“They’re here for you Nation,” Dan reminded her as the camera flashed again. “I’m no one special.”

Nation laughed as she pulled away from Dan, lacing her fingers with his. He picked up his bag as Brendon came over. “They’re for both of you, I’d say,” Brendon said as he pulled Dan into a bro hug. “They’re always in our business. Come on. Bus is waiting.”

 

**

 

Dallon had disappeared into the bunk around 2 am that night leaving the rest of them in the lounge watching pointless movies and shows on Netflix. Ryan was curled up against Brendon and Nation was curled up against Dan causing the couples to mirror each other in a way.

As another episode of Sherlock came to an end Nation looked towards the men on her left. “Hey, guys.”

They all hummed in response, Dan looking down at her with soft eyes. “How do you think it’s going to be when Ryan and I officially come back?”

“Same as this, I suppose,” Ryan replied, shifting so that his back was against Brendon’s chest and he was facing Dan and Nation.

“No, but like the fans. How will they react? They think we hate you, Ryro. And we were also so insistent about never coming back. Don’t you think they’d be even the slightest bit mad about that,” Nation worried and Dan rubbed her arm calmingly, knowing where this may end up if they don’t calm her down now.

Brendon shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, Nation. There will always be people that love us and those that hate us. You know that.”

“He’s right, for once,” Ryan said causing Brendon to shove the man off of him. Ryan looked up at his husband from the floor laughing. “You know I’m kidding.”

Brendon rolled his eyes as he helped his husband up off the floor, pulling him forward so that he was sitting in his lap.

“But what about when-“

Dan cut her off by planting his hand over her mouth. “The more you talk about it. The more worked up you’re going to get. I know you, Nation, so don’t try and argue with me. Please, I don’t want to do that because you’ve finally slipped back into your Jersey accent and you get scary when you’re upset.”

She raised an eyebrow as he removed his hand. “What about when I sounded like I was raised next door to you?”

“It was cute,” Dan announced causing her to narrow her eyes, “in an intimidating way, probably what Frank would have been like if he were raised in London.”

Nation rolled her eyes, slumping back into Dan’s chest as she looked towards the Rosses who were smiling at the exchange between the two. “When are you two going to get married,” Ryan asked curiously.

“When Dan finally gets over the fact that the brides maids will definitely _not_ be wearing black. I don’t care how I’m standardized by the world, my wedding will _not_ because considered emo. Scarlet and plum, that’s what I say,” Nation nodded. “The only thing that we can agree on at this point is that Bandit is the flower girl and Bronx is the ring bearer. Oh, Ryan, by the way, care to be my best man?”

Ryan gave her a confused look. “Shouldn’t you have a maid of honor?”

“Yes, well, the only girl I’m friends with his Jenna and she’s not close enough to be my maid of honor, though she is a brides maid. Dan, didn’t you ask Tyler to be a grooms man?”

“Yeah, I figured Tyler would escort her during the ceremony. Seemed fitting. You asked Josh to be one of your grooms men right?”

Nation nodded, “I figured we could pair him with your sister. You choose a best man yet? I’, assuming it’s Phil.”

                Dan took a gulp and Nation soon realized she had struck a nerve with her fiancé. He had never told her about the spat he had had with his best friend. “When I told him we’re thinking about moving out to the states, he got pissed at me. I’ve tried talking to him but I don’t see it happening any time soon.”

                Nation looked up at him with sad eyes. Dan had never had a best friend growing up, so when he and Phil had become friends his world had become instantly brighter. To see the two apart became the strangest thing, making this moment quite a shock to the trio of musicians.

                “I’m sorry, Dan,” Nation whispered.

                Dan shook his head before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Nothing you did. Don’t go apologizing. Anyway, Brendon Ross, be my best man?”

                Brendon shook his head smiling, “Be an honor, man.”

                “Welp, as much as I love discussing wedding plans, I’m exhausted,” Ryan announced as he stood to his feet. “Coming, Bren?”

                Brendon shook his head no, “Think I’ll stay up for a bit longer.”

                Ryan nodded before leaning down to his the man. He bid his goodnights before disappearing into the bunk.

                “I’m knackered, too,” Dan said as Nation slid off him. “I’m assuming you’re staying up too.”

                Nation nodded before Dan kissed her goodnight and headed towards the bunks, patting Brendon’s shoulder as he did. Brendon patted the space next to him and Nation rolled her eyes as she moved so that she was next to him with his arm around is shoulders.

                “Do you ever watch Ryan leave and instantly miss him even though his like in the next room?” Nation asked quietly. Brendon nodded as he looked towards the bunks.

                “It seems when you’re a lover, the lonely moments just get lonelier the longer you’re in love,” Brendon whispered. “Shit, I should write that down.”

                He leaned forward to the table and grabbed the notebook that was sitting on the table. The three had been brain storming lyrics earlier and had come up with nothing. He wrote down his words before Nation quickly snatched the pen away from him.

                _If you’re a lover, you should know,_

_The lonely moments just get lonelier,_

_The longer you’re in love,_

                _Than if you were alone._

_I don't want to be afraid_

_The deeper that I go_  
It takes my breath away  
Soft hearts electric souls  
Heart to heart and eyes to eyes  
Is this taboo?

Brendon took the pen back and began to write again as Nation peered over his shoulder’s. Nation hummed a soft melody and Brendon nodded his head to the tempo, joining in after quickly picking up on it. He sang softly as to not wait up the other men, just loud enough for Nation to hear.

“ _Baby we built this house_

 _On memories_  
Take my picture now  
Shake it til you see it  
And when your fantasies  
Become your legacy  
Promise me a place  
In your house of memories

“Damn we’re good,” Nation mumbled before snatching the pen back from her best friend.

_I think of you from time to time  
More than I thought I would._

Brendon read the two lines before his hand went over her to keep her from writing more.

 _“You were just too kind_  
And I was too young to know  
That's all that really matters  
I was a fool.”

The words rang out for a moment as the two locked eyes for a moment. Nation took a breath before quickly writing down the words. “Was that supposed to be an apology to me for all those years ago?”

Brendon let out a soft chuckle, “To both you and Ryan.”

Nation’s brow furrowed as she looked towards her friend. “I dated Ryan long before we were together. We called it quits when we got signed. Didn’t want us breaking up to cause the band to ever split, turns out that didn’t really effect any of the events that’s unfolded other than sometimes being alone with each other was awkward, especially after we started dating. It basically defeated the whole purpose of Ryan and breaking up because you were in the band. But, we’re together now. That’s what counts.”

Nation smiled looking at Brendon with soft eyes. She leant over and kissed his cheek before pulling away and speaking, “You’re a dork. Ryan’s lucky to have you. Even if it did take this long.”

“Thanks, Nation. I’m glad we were able to fix things between us. I’m pretty sure if Ryan had been the only one coming back it’d take a decade to accomplish anything. Don’t ever leave.”

“Never again.” Nation then turned her focus back to the notebook in front of her. _“_ I say repeat the chorus here.” Brendon nodded in agreement before Nation began to scribble more lyrics. When she finished, she wrote her and Brendon’s names at the bottom before writing the title of the song – HOUSE OF MEMORIES - in big bold letters at the top of the page. She dropped the pen and ruffled Brendon’s hair as she went towards the bunk.

“Night, Brendon.”

Brendon stared after her a moment before picking up the notebook and reading the last lines. The words seemed to echo in his head as he leant back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

 _Those thoughts of past lovers_  
They'll always haunt me  
I wish I could believe  
You'd never wrong me  
Then will you remember  
Me in the same way  
As I remember you

_(chorus)_

It seemed that Brendon remembered his and Nation’s relationship in totally opposite ways. To some, this may have been upsetting; but to them, it was comforting.

 

**

 

                Nation paced back and forth in the Panic! dressing room backstage as she stared down at the song on her phone. She didn’t want to press play but she also knew that she needed to.

                “Are you going to continue to pace or am I going to have to press play for you?” Dan asked from the sofa next to Ryan. Brendon and Dallon were both currently on stage and Nation hadn’t planned on making an appearance that night.

                Nation shot him a glare and Ryan went to speak as well but the look she sent Dan silenced him as well. She pressed the play button and turned up the volume as she sank to the floor, sitting crisscross applesauce. The guitar instantly filled the silence followed by the sound of her father’s voice.

_“We want television bodies that we can’t keep  
We have battles in the dark when she falls asleep”_

“That’s different,” Nation noted.

 _“We can make it up again_  
We can make it up again  
And we don’t care we just pretend  
With our faces on the mend  
And don’t ask a lot  
And you won’t lose a lot  
Don’t ask for much  
  
Every accidental damage I wouldn’t take  
Every heart I left behind that you couldn’t break”

Nation frowned at the lyrics and Dan and Ryan exchanged a nervous look. She was either hating her father with every lyric or was thinking over every syllable.

 _We can make it up again_  
We can make it up again  
And we don’t care we just pretend  
With our faces on the mend  
And don’t ask a lot  
And you won’t lose a lot  
Don’t ask for much  
  
And I still miss you  
Say I missed you too  
Still I miss you  
Say I missed me too  
Still I missed you  
Say I missed me too”

Nation bit her lip in response to the words, her eyes going down to the floor.

 

 _We want action and decision that we can't fake_  
We got fire cracker wishes that we can make  
  
We can make it up again  
We can make it up again  
And we don’t care we just pretend  
With our faces on the mend  
And don’t ask a lot  
And you won’t lose a lot  
Don’t ask for much  
  
Oh  
Do you miss me?  
'Cause I miss you  
Do you miss me?  
'Cause I miss you  
Do you miss me?  
'Cause I miss you  
Do you miss me?  
'Cause I miss you so”

Nation took a deep breath as the song came to an end. Dan and Ryan sat silently, awaiting some sort of response. They watched as she dialed a number, raising the phone to her ear. They couldn’t make out what was said on the other end of the phone but Nation’s voice said it all.

Her voice cracked, “I miss you too.”

 

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Nation didn’t hang up the phone until moments before Brendon and Dallon returned. They entered the dressing the room with grins on their faces, laughing with each other, but the smiles disappeared when he saw the looks on his friend’s faces.

“What’s going on?”

Nation took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m gunna fly out to Jersey. Tonight, Dan’s coming with me.”

Dallon’s face became confused as he took off his shirt and picked up a towel to dry himself off before changing into a fresh shirt.

“Why?”

“I just got off the phone with my Dad. We talked… a while. I’m just impressed those two could keep quiet so long,” Even with her words joking, her face was soft. Her eyes stayed on the floor as she turned her phone over in her hand repeatedly. That was when Brendon knew that what she had to see was not to be taken lightly. “We’re gunna work together on an album.”

Brendon went to speak but Ryan was quick on his feet. “Brendon.”

His name coming from Ryan’s mouth was enough to hush him. Ryan moved to Brendon’s side continuing on for Nation, knowing it may be easier for him to say than her. “We’re not even going to start working on our album until you’re finished touring the current album and that’s not for another year and a half. She’s coming back.”

“B-but you said,” Brendon stammered as Nation rose to her feet.

“I’m coming back, Brenny.”

Brendon ran a hand through his hair, “I know. I know. It’s just. I missed this. I don’t want to start waiting for you to come back again. You’re my best friend, Nation.”

Nation opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. Instead, she took quick steps towards Brendon and enveloped him in a tight hug.

“I’m gunna miss you.”

“I’m gunna miss you too,” Nation said sniffling. “Why are were acting like I’m leaving forever?”

Brendon rested his chin on top her head. “I don’t know but I missed these hugs.”

“Me too.”

“Back off, mate. She’s mine,” Dan joked causing all of them to laugh.

 

**

 

“Nation,” Brendon called out to his best friend right before she and Dan has stood up to board their flight. Both she and Dan stopped but she waved him off. He nodded kissing her forehead before grabbing their suitcases and heading towards their gate. “When we meet up again, let’s change out tattoos.”

“What?”

Brendon held out his wrist, revealing the same exclamation point that was on Nation’s wrist. “Let’s get it outlined in red.”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re my best friend and I want to reaffirm that.”

Nation raised an eyebrow. “What’s with the sudden declarations of love for me?”

Brendon shook his head. “Writing House of Memories with you, it just… well it reminded me of the night we wrote Green Gentlemen and how much I take advantage of you. You’re my best friend and I fucking missed you after we broke up. That last verse you wrote, it just made me think. We all have our own houses and I know that even though they’re totally different, we both have a whole floor dedicated to each other.”

Nation shook her head smiling before pulling Brendon into a tight hug. “I love you, Brenny.”

“I love you too, Nation. And I’m not going to let you forget that again,” Brendon whispered into her hair causing her to grin.


	7. Chapter 7

 

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I’m here right now,” Nation mumbled to herself as she walked hand in hand with Dan through the airport looking for her family. “Where are those fuckers,” She spoke up this time.”

“That’s a bad word, sissy,” Nation spun on her heel to look down at her little sister.

“It is,” Nation confirmed before bending down to pick up her sister, resting her on her hip. “And you shouldn’t go around saying it. Better yet, don’t tell Dad that you heard me say it. Pinkie promise?”

The little girl giggled before wrapping her pinkie finger around her older sisters. She seemed very intrigued by her sister’s sudden appearance until her eyes locked onto Dan. “Danny!”

                Bandit outstretched her arms towards the tall noodle and Dan laughed as he took the child from his fiancé’s hands. “Why hello to you too!”

                “Hey, Nation,” A familiar voice spoke and Nation spun on her heels on to stand face to face with her father. The same hazel eyes stared into each other for the first time since Phil and Mya’s wedding.

                “Hi, Daddy,” Nation said. Both shared the same scared expression before Nation finally broke a grin appearing on her face which was soon perfectly mirrored by her father. They rushed towards each other and Nation wrapped her arms around his torso as he hugged the living daylights out of her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m a bloody git and.”

                “Shut up,” Gerard mumbled. “I’m just glad to have you back… don’t leave again. We missed you. _I_ missed you.”

                “I missed you too, Dad.”

                The two Way’s pulled away from each other, only to smile again. Gerard reached out and took Nation’s left hand, raising it so that he could get a look at the ring on her finger. “And when were you planning on telling your old man about this?”

                Bandit giggled, “Daddy said he’s old.”

                Dan shook his head with a smile from beside the Way as Nation and Gerard laughed.

                “I figured you’d see the video on my channel,” Nation admitted.

                “I did. Trust me, I did,” Gerard laughed, “I just didn’t think that would be how I found out. You ever get pregnant I expect you tell me in person. Come on. Frank’s making stir fry for dinner.”

                This resulted in a groan from Nation and a laugh from Dan. Gerard’s grow furrowed. “We live off stir fry. I think she was expecting something she found more exciting,” Dan explained causing Gerard to laugh.

                “Wait, Frank’s cooking. This is _good_ stir fry.”

                Dan gave her a shocked look. “I’m offended.”

 

**

 

                As they turned onto their street Dan’s eyes locked onto a house with a for sale sign in the front yard. He nudged Nation before pointing towards it causing her to give him a look as if to say ‘ _sweet Jesus that’s convenient.’_

                “Okay, you two just pointed at a house and started whispering to each other,” Gerard said glancing them as the Way house came into view. “You’re thinking about moving out to Jersey aren’t you?”

                “When did you get so observant?” Nation asked.

                “I’ve always been.”

                Gerard pulled into the driveway and the four exited the car before heading inside.

                “Frankie!” Gerard called upon entering the house, “we’re home!”

                A moment later Frank ran into the room from the kitchen, sliding across the tile flooring in his socks before crashing into his step-daughter. Nation grunted, taking a step back but hugging his back nonetheless.

                “Hello to you too, Dad,” Nation laughed as he pulled away. The short man only grinned at her before planting a kiss on her cheek and turning towards Dan and pulling him into a hug.

                “I’ve miss you too,” Frank announced.

                “You don’t have to for much longer,” Gerard said as he helped bandit struggle to untie her shoes. “They’re looking into moving out to Jersey.”

                Frank’s eyes lit up as he looked between the couple. “Really!? Did you see that the Turner’s moved out down the street?

                “Uh, yeah I pointed it out to Nation earlier,” Dan chuckled.

                Frank grinned. “Good. I knew you couldn’t leave Jersey, Nation. It’s stuck in your blood.”

                “Thanks, Dad.”

                “Welcome, kid. Now come on. Dinner’s almost ready.”

 

**

 

                “So, thinking about moving to Jersey,” Frank brought up again as the Howell and four Ways sat around the round dinner table eating their stir fry.

                “Well, not Jersey particularly,” Nation through a mouth full of food.

                “Manners,” Gerard shot her a look causing Dan to fight back a laugh before continuing what she was saying.

                He swallowed his food as to not get scolded as well. “The states in general. We were going to look into Jersey and California first. We’ve been trying to decide whether we wanted to stay closer to you guys or Ryan and Brendon.”

                Gerard nodded along. “Didn’t they just get married?”

                “Yes. Oh my god the wedding was amazing. And Spencer was Brendon’s best man and I was the maid of honor,” Nation rambled. “We were the only other members in the wedding party and Dallon was sitting the first row it was like a Panic! reunion without Jon.”

                “Why is Jon still mad at you guys?” Dan pondered.

                Nation shrugged. “Beats me. I’ve got nothing against the man. I think he’s just making up excuses to hang our his wife. For all I know he’s a got a kid and just doesn’t want to tell us he’d rather be a full time Dad than a bassist. Who cares, though? Dallon’s the best bassist I’ve ever met.”

                “Pete and Mikey would argue that,” Frank joked.”

                “Ant then they’d argue who’s better between the two of them,” Gerard said. “And both would say it was the other.”

                The adults laughed and Bandit giggled although she was kind of confused as to what

 a bassist was. She decided it was best to ask her Uncle Mikey next time she saw him.

                “So, Nation told me you two are going to work on some music together,” Dan said as he looked across the table at Gerard who nodded excitedly.

                “Yeah. Label gave me a deadline on when it has to be finished because they want to get me touring as soon as possible. Told them I wouldn’t do it without my little girl though,” Gerard replied causing Nation to roll her eyes, smiling nonetheless.

                “Yay! I get to tour with Daddy!” Bandit squealed causing Dan to awe. That left Gerard and Frank sharing knowing looks.

                Frank had just released an album with the Celebration and would start touring next month and with Gerard and Nation about to start working on music together, the husbands had decided it was best to leave Bandit with Mikey and Pete. Well, Mikey really. Pete wasn’t home as often has he wanted to be.

                “You explain it to her,” Frank said as he stood up, collecting both his and Gerard’s empty dinner plates. Gerard stammered trying to find some sort of reason as to why Frank should explain before sighing, rubbing his eyes. He rested his elbows on the table as he put his face in his hands before glancing towards Bandit. In his head, he was silently screaming at not being able to comprehend on her own why she wasn’t going. But, a voice in the back of his head told him he was a fucking idiot for scolding her like that, even if it was only in his head.

                Nation and Dan bit their lips and exchanged a glance before they both quickly stood up, grabbing their plates. Following after Frank, they help him with the dishes.

 

**

 

                Dan stood outside the door of the Way’s home recording studio and listened to Gerard and Nation going back and forth over lyrics. They didn’t sound angry; however, they sounded understanding and approved of almost ever suggestion the other made.

                “No offense, Dan, but you look like a stalker right now,” Frank joked a few seconds after rounding the corner and seeing his future son-in-law.

                Dan laughed, shaking his head. “I haven’t seen her write music in forever. I was tempted to go in but I figured they wouldn’t enjoy me being in there.”

                Frank nodded knowingly. “They wouldn’t mind, you know?”

                “I know. But, let’s be honest here, Nation acts a little different when I’m around.”

                The older man thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement. “She may act different, but that’s probably just because she doesn’t smile as much as she does when you’re in the room. Now, come on,” Frank said and motioned for Dan to follow him into the kitchen, “They won’t be leaving the studio for the next like three weeks so you might as well catch me up on you two’s life.”

                They entered the kitchen and Frank went towards the fridge. He pulled out a beer and offered it to Dan who politely denied it. Frank nodded before closing the fridge and opening his beer.

                “So, what do you want to know?”

                “Well, how’d you ask her, first of all?” Frank grinned causing Dan to turn a light shade of red.

                “In the middle of Tesco with a ring pop,” Dan spoke honestly causing Frank to burst into a fit of giggles.

                “You’re fucking with me right?” Dan shook his head no as he started laughing as well. “And she said yes!? God, I thought I raised the girl to have some sort of standards.”

                “I was just joking around at the time too. I was planning on asking her at dinner that night but we had been joking around all day and then I was complaining about wanting gum, so she dug around in her purse and ending up a pulling out a ring pop that had been in their God knows how long and next thing I knew I was down on one knee and she had this terrified look on her face.”

 

_“Why the **fuck** do you have a ring pop in your purse,” Dan laughed as Nation pulled it out of her bag, a confused look appearing on her face._

_She shrugged, “How am I supposed to know? I haven’t used the damn thing in forever. Better question, why isn’t it wrapped?”_

_Dan shook his head as he took the candy ring from her hands. “Let’s be real, it’d make a hell of an engagement ring. If someone said yes to someone who proposed with a bloody ring pop then you know they must love the shit out of them.”_

_Nation laughed, shaking her head. “That’s true.” She looked away from her boyfriend and began rummaging around in her purse for the gum once again. She pulled it out with a victory cheer and when she turned towards Dan again, she was face with a shelf. Her eyes then travel down the lanky noodle on one knee holding up the ring pop._

_“Nation Michelle Helena Way, will you marry me?” Dan said completely serious causing Nation to giggle._

_“Sure, Dan.”_

_The woman had thought he was joking._

_“That’s lovely because I just happen to have the real ring in my pocket right now. Convenient really and definitely not how I planned,” Dan rambled as he stood back up and pulled out a small ring box, popping up the lid to show the diamond engagement ring._

_Nation’s jaw dropped as she stared at the ring wide eyed. “I didn’t think you were serious.”_

_“Neither was I for a about five seconds. This was supposed to happen over dinner. If you want we can rewind and pretend it didn’t happen so that you don’t have to go around telling everyone we got engaged in Tesco. Well, that’s if you’re answer is still yes now that you know I was actually serious. I mean, I understand if you wouldn’t want to. I’m quite te-_

_Nation cut off the taller man by grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down for their lips to meet. Dan pulled away after a moment, breathless and smiling._

_“That’s a yes then?”_

_“Yes.”_

“That literally makes me and Gee’s engagement look like shit. That was the cutest fucking thing anyone has ever told me.”

 

**

 

                “We need inspiration,” Gerard groaned as he collapsed onto the couch in the studio. His hair was a mess and paired with his sweatpants and the hoodie he stole from Frank, he looked like he had just crawled out of bed.

                Nation rolled her eyes as she followed his actions though on the floor. She stared up at the ceiling and traced the swirling patterns with her eyes. “This is sad… it’s been all of ten minutes.”

                Gerard paused. “I wish Mikey was here.”

                “Is he your inspiration,” Nation laughed causing Gerard to shrug as he moved so that he was staring up at the ceiling as well. “What do you usually do for inspiration for this shit anyway? I haven’t written a song with you before.”

                “Really? We’ve never written a song together? What about when we were working on MCR5?”

                “Eh. That was different. One on one is different than five people all putting their stuff into something. It gets more personal when it’s just two people, sometimes,” Nation explained to her father. “At least from my experience.”

                Gerard hummed in response before the two Way’s fell into a comfortable silence. Nation’s eyes considered to trace the swirls on the ceiling, taking her back to when she used to hang out with Link. The two use to lay around for hours staring at the ceiling and talking about anything.

 

                _“Hey, Nation,” Link said as he turned his head to look over at his older sister. She hummed in response, her eyes closed as she listened to the drumming of the rain against the window. “How do you do it?”_

_“You’re gunna have to be a little more specific,” Nation replied simply._

_“This life. All the cameras and the concerts and stuff. I just get overwhelmed sometimes. I don’t like all the attention. It’s just stressful,” Link explained as he ran a hand through his red hair._

_Nation shrugged. “I get asked that a lot. But, I don’t really have an answer. Cameras still make me nervous.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah,” Nation nodded. “Like a red carpet I can handle. The photographers are supposed to be there. It’s their job. But, if I’m just out with Dan and I see a camera flash I usually freak out… Dad never told you that, did he?”_

_Link shook his head no. “I guess I just thought you were great at everything, including handling all the pressure.”_

_Nation snorted. “I’m shit at most things, Link. I’m not that smart.”_

_“Dad told me that you graduated high school when you were thirteen.”_

_Rolling her eyes, the older Way sat up, propping herself on her elbows. “Schools only purpose is to give a number based on shitty ass tests that only show your ability to memorize useless facts and not crack under pressure. The fact that I finished all of that early only proved that I didn’t have an friends. I’m not that smart. But, it also doesn’t matter because being smart has nothing to do with either my career or my happiness. My life is based around my music ability and family. The two just happen to go hand and hand for me so it makes it look like I’m good at these things,” Nation rambled before Link stopped her._

_“Nation, you’ve sold millions of-“_

_“Yes, I have. But the only reason I was in MCR was because our family **was** MCR. The only reason I joined was because Bob left and they needed a filler and I was convenient. The only reason I joined Panic! was because I’m dad’s kid and he got famous and knew Pete because of it. If I hadn’t known Pete I would have never met the guys and thus never met Panic! the only reason I ended up successful is because of Dad and I think about that a lot. Dad worked his ass off and because of that I got all of these great opportunities. I’m not a superhero. I crack under pressure. I freak out at the slightest hint that there’s a photographer near me. I have a whole folder of videos on my computer that I never uploading solely because I think they will do nothing but bring hate and arguments. I’m not perfect.”_

_Link gave her a calm look before laughing._

_“What?”_

_“I say one simple thing and you go off into a monologue that low key has nothing to do with what I said.” Nation frowned causing him to continue to laugh. “I’m sorry.” He quieted himself down before continuing. “But, Nation, I just hope you know that you’re still a superhero in my mind.”_

_A soft smile appeared on her face at his words. “Well, I guess that makes you my sidekick then.”_

_“We can have some Batman and Robin stuff going on this is great.”_

_“Definitely.”_

                “You okay, Nation?” Gerard asked his daughter when he turned his head to look at her. Silent tears were streaming down her face as the memory struck her.

                “He was my Robin,” Nation spoke softly causing Gerard’s brow to furrow. A slight chuckle escaped her lips. “Did you know, Link thought I was a superhero?”

                Gerard’s expression morphed to one of understanding as he nodded. “He told me you were gunna get tattoos together one day. You were gunna get Robin and he was gunna get Batman.”

                “I guess we’ll never get them together,” Nation spoke solemnly. “I think I might go do that tomorrow. Get the tattoo, I mean. Back of my neck just like we planned.”

                “Frank will probably go with you. He was talking about getting a noodle tattoo.”

                “Why?”

                “Bandit said she wanted to get a tattoo. When he asked what of, she said a noodle. He thought that it was a really good idea,” Gerard explained causing Nation to grin like an idiot. “He wanted to get something for Link too.”

                Nation nodded before a thought suddenly struck her. She shot up off the floor and grabbed her notebook from the table, flipping it open to a blank page as she clicked open her pen. She began to write and Gerard stood up and went to lean over her shoulder.

                _Does anyone have the time to bring me down?_  
And can I sleep all night long to the drums of the city rain?  
Just make it up  
'Cause I'm awake all night long to the drums of the city rain  
  
And brother if you have the chance to pick me up?  
And can I sleep on your couch to the pound of the ache and pain?  
Oh, in my head 'cause I'm awake all night long to the drums of the city rain 

                “What’s so important about the rain?” Gerard asked quietly, as if he spoke any louder it would disturb the force.

                “When my memories first came back, I didn’t sleep much and well, it rains a lot in London so I basically got hours upon hours of the same sound. I don’t like the rain much anymore. Not like I used to,” Nation explained to her father.

                “Why didn’t you put on music like you usually do?” Gerard asked, brow furrowed.

                “Well, I couldn’t move for starters, “Nation laughed and Gerard became even more confused until she continued. “Whenever Dan falls asleep he refuses to let go of me, no matter how hard I try to move. Makes getting up to pee in the middle of the night really hard.”

                Gerard smiled and laughed, shaking his head. It was odd to here such a familiar story. “Frank does the same thing to me.”

                “Really?”

                “He gets cold really easily and I’m apparently his own personally heater,” Gerard joked.

                “Dan’s so warm. I seriously don’t understand it. I’m always freezing so, you know, I can see why Frank never wants to let go of you. I never want to let go of Dan,” Nation grinned up at her father. “That’s probably why Frank said yes when you proposed all those years ago.”

                “Probably the same reason you said yes to Dan then,” Gerard replied with a grin as he sat back down on the couch. Nation turned scarlet causing her father to laugh in amusement. “You two set a date yet?”

                Nation shook her head. “No not yet. We were discussing October, though. We’re both kind of obsessed with the idea of an outdoors wedding with all the different colored leaves everywhere and just, oh my god it’d be so pretty.”

                “You sound like I did when Frank and I were still planning our wedding.”

                “You two ended up getting married back stage at a show though,” Nation laughed.

                Gerard shrugged. “Well, yeah, but we had planned an actual reception though, rather than a fuck it moment.”

                “You’re telling me your wedding was a _fuck it_ moment,” Nation repeated, trying hard not to laugh.

                “At least we got married!”

 

**

 

                **Two months later**

                “What the fuck are we gunna call this thing?” Nation asked as she and Gerard finally finished the last song on the album.

                “I don’t know. I’m hesitant about pretty much everything that crosses my mind,” Gerard said as he grabbed his water bottle before collapsing onto the couch. The two hadn’t left the recording studio at the Way’s house in the last two months other than for food or the bathroom. Dan and Frank were left taking care of Bandit and making sure that their partners didn’t starve to death and at least got a minimum amount of sleep.

                “Hesitant, hesitant, hesitant,” Nation mumbled the word over repeated as her easy travel around the room, looking for something that sounded like it described the album. “Alien. Hesitant Alien.”

                Gerard paused, thinking over her words before nodding excitedly. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. Hesitant Alien by Nation and Gerard Way, that sounds awesome!”

                “God, that makes us sound like we’re married or something. Think about if someone listened to the album and had no clue as to who we were,” Nation laughed. “That’d be an interesting interview to say the least.”

                “Oh, dear god. Get married before this comes out,” Gerard pleaded.

                Nation shook her head, smiling. “Even if I did, I’d be keeping Way.”

                “What?”

                “Dan said he wanted to take Way as his name,” Nation explained to her father, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. “Yeah. I was shocked too. But, he said that he didn’t want things to get mixed up in interviews with my name and everything. That and he wanted to annoy his dad by not continuing on the Howell name.”

                Gerard laughed, “You’re kidding me, right?”

                “Nope,” Nation grinned, “His dad has been going on and on about how he was so proud that Dan could continue on the Howell name once we have kids and annoyed Dan to the point that he turned to me and said, and I quote, _that’s it. I’m taking Way just to piss him off. Dan Way sounds good right?”_

                “That’s priceless.”

                “Exactly.”

 

**

 

                Nation and Gerard walked out of the record studio together with grin on their faces. Their album would be coming out in September of that year and neither could be more excited.

                “Oh, this is going to be amazing! Dan can come along and then the two of us on _stage together._ Oh, god, I’ve missed this so much!” Nation squealed as she hopped into the passenger’s seat of her father’s car. “Being on stage with Tyler and Josh and then with Brendon just reminded me about how much I missed doing thing. Ooo, interviews and, and acoustic shows maybe! Probably not knowing us.  That’d be dreadful to listen to actually. Oh, never mind. But, oh, oh, oh, for tour we could like find a band that’s been together a while but hasn’t really, you know, blossomed yet. They could open and then like play the instrumentals for our stuff! Isn’t that a good idea?!”

                Gerard couldn’t help but to smile and laugh at the excitement on his daughter’s face. The stage may have missed her, but no one could miss the stage more than Nation. For someone who used to dread walking out there, she has definitely grown to live for the feeling it gave you.

                “That sounds amazing, Nation,” Gerard smiled.

                “Can I Periscope?” Nation asked causing Gerard to give her a confused look. “Brendon does it all the time and he may or may not have gotten me addicted to it. It’s a live show, like the ones I used to do all the time, but I can do it from my phone.”

                Gerard shrugged as they pulled out of the parking lot of the studio. “Sure, don’t see why not.”

                “Brilliant,” She smiled as she opened the app on her phone. After a quick second to make sure her eyeliner wasn’t smudged to the point that she looked ridiculous, she adjusted the collar of leather jacket before starting her live show. A few seconds later there were a couple hundred people watching. “Hello my lovely beans,” Nation grinned before pointing her phone at Gerard, “Say hi, Dad.”

                “Hi, Dad,” Gerard repeated causing Nation to roll her eyes as she pointed the camera back at herself. She took notice that in just those few seconds it had gone from a couple hundred to just over a thousand people.

                “So, we’re driving home from the record studio and we can officially announce that Hesitant Alien shall be released in about late September,” Nation squealed. “I’m so excited and I’m sure he is too but he’s just too old to show it.” Gerard reached over and playfully slapped her arm causing her to laugh. “I can’t wait for you guys to hear it. It’s fucking amazing. At least we think so.”

                She read the comments as they quickly ran across the screen on her phone. Most were of people screaming over the album or the fact that Gerard was in the car with her.

                “Pricilla wants to know when touring will start,” Nation directed her words at her father.

                “As soon as you marry Dan,” Gerard replied.

                Nation groaned. “So. Much. Planning… what if we just get married backstage right before a concert like you and Dad did,” She joked and Gerard shot her a warning glare as he stopped at the red light.

                “Don’t you even dare. I’d like to have pictures of my daughter’s wedding that I can hang up in my house, thank you. Oh, that reminds me, you and Dan find a place yet?”

                “Brendon called yesterday and told me that the house across the street from him conveniently went up for sale, so Dan and I put in an offer,” Nation told him.

                “Have you been inside that house?”

                “We forced Ryan and Brendon to go to the open house and facetime us while they were there. We talked to the relater during that and it’s literally the same house as Brendon and Ryan’s,” Nation explained to her father. “Which reminds me that I totally need to take my name off their house.”

                “Geez, you haven’t done that yet either?”

                “Says the man that has been procrastinating series three of his comic for what, six years now?” Nation shot back.

                “We don’t talk about that.”

                “Well, we should. I’d like to know why the hell you randomly gave Séance a fucking baby. You don’t do anything in that story without a purpose, so I’d like to know what the baby’s purpose was, thank you very much.”

                Gerard groaned as his daughter pestered him. “I’ll get to it eventually!”


	8. Chapter 8

_November 24 th, 2014_

Gerard leant against the wall as he watched Nation pass back and forth in her dressing room. He was dressed in his in a navy suit with a red tie, standing out against the rest of the men at the occasion.

                Nation’s gown was nothing but beautiful. It hugged all her curves in dress the right places, the lace seeming to be sewn just for her (which it had). It was a long sleeved, V-neck, and barely brushed against the floor.

                There was a knock on the door followed by Ryan entering the room. He was dressed in a simple black tux with a red rose tucked neatly into the front pocket to match the bride’s maids.

                “You ready? We’re about to start,” Ryan said as he looked Nation up and down before smiling. “You look beautiful, by the way. If I wasn’t so gay I’d ask Dan if I could steal you.”

                This caused the Ways to laugh.

                “Yeah, I think I’m ready,” Nation said as she took a deep breath. “God, I might pass out.”

                Gerard smiled. “You’ll be fine. I was nervous too when I got married.”

                “Really?”

                “Nation, do you not remember mine and Brendon’s wedding? I was scared shitless,” Ryan reminded the girl causing her to smile and laugh.

                “Yeah, yeah you were.”

                Nation then went over to her father, who looped his arm with hers. He looked down at her with a proud smile. “I’m so proud of you. Never forget that.” He planted a kiss on her forehead before they left the room.

               

**

               

                Nation watched as the bride’s maids and groom’s men entered the room with their arms looped together. Before Ryan and Brendon had gone, they had both whispered a quick good luck before walking down the aisle.

                It was finally time for Gerard to give Nation away to Dan. A piano cover of My Funny Valentine drifted through doors as Nation exchanged once last glance before heading towards the doors. As they turned into the room, Nation locked eyes with Dan.

                His chocolate eyes settled onto her and his lips parted as his jaw dropped. His hand rose to cover his mouth as he saw her, a bright smile plastered across his face. Nation clutched her bouquet of roses tightly as a smile danced on her lips. Neither thought they had ever smiled that brightly before.

                Their family and friends filled the room; their parents and sisters, countless bands, and youtubers. Dan’s parents sat in the front row next to Frank, Bandit, Mikey and Pete. There was an empty seat between Frank and Bandit for Gerard. Bronx sat comfortable in Mikey’s lap.

                When Gerard and Nation finally reached the end of the aisle Dan couldn’t help but reach out towards Nation and cup her face in her hands. Their eyes never left each other and Nation wouldn’t help but notice the tears that were welding up in his eyes.

                Nation looked back at her father and he smiled before kissing her cheek and handing her off to Dan before going over to sit next to his husband for the ceremony.

 

**

 

                “Michelle Parker. I think back to the days when you told me that was your name,” Dan voice rang out as he glanced between his sheet of paper and his soon to be wife. Nation smiled and laughed as did their family and friends. “When you told me that wasn’t your name on my birthday, I gave you the craziest look before proceeding to fall out of my chair. It turned out you, my best friend from the opposite side of the ocean, was someone that I had nothing but stalk and fawn over. I still remember every time I ranted about you with no clue that I was talking about you at the same time. You always had this dazed little smile on when I did that I had never understood before now.

I had always thought that Nation Way was this person who had no flaws and took on the world with nothing but a smirk and a sassy comeback. But, now I know that you are much more than that. You’re flawed. And that’s what draws me to you the most. It’s your need to bake the best sweets when you’re upset and that look you get on your face after you perform a show and you’re ranting about that one note you missed. It’s how frustrated you get when you’re writing and can’t figure out how to make that one verse just perfect, even though I already think that it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. It’s that folder on your laptop labeled ‘Too Deep for the Internet.’ It’s the way you wrote a whole bloody comic book on your own, won an Eisner and still insist that it could have been better. It’s the way that you look at everything you do as if it’s absolute shit, but still hold it to a high standard. It’s the way that you somehow convince me that it’s the best thing I’ve ever down when I film something utterly stupid and not needed to be shown to the world.

It’s everything that the world might judge you for doing. It’s everything that no one knows about but those who truly know you. It’s the way that you do what makes _you_ happy and not the world. I love you just because you’re you. From how you drink coffee twenty four hours of the day to the way that you look annoyed when you finally wake up at four in the afternoon before smiling up at me. That’s why I love you. That’s what I’m promising on today. I’m not promising on my life or our love or Jennifer Lawrence,” Nation stifled as laugh as she fought back the tears forming in her eyes. “I’m promising on your smile because in my opinion, it’s the reason the Earth continues to spin. I promise that from this day forward, you will do nothing but smile when I’m near.”

Nation swallowed hard as she heard multiple people sniffling from where they sat in their chair. She bit her lip when she heard Gerard stifle a sob. No one had thought Gerard had ever cried for joy like that before.

“Shit,” She replied causing laughs. “I don’t think I can top that.”

Nation reached into her bra and pulled out a piece of paper causing a few more laughs as well. She took a breath as she stared at it before slowly unfolding it.

“Meeting you was like the reading the first chapter if my favorite book. It was awkward and unrealistic and full of weird questions, explanations and descriptions of people, things, and our history as we got to know each other. But, after the first chapter of both being in a state of ‘who the fuck is this person and why are they low key interesting’ we entered the middle of our novel. And this is the best part. Meeting you was not the best moment of my life. No, it’s knowing you. That’s my favorite thing. Meeting someone is very different from knowing someone. Knowing how someone ticks, how they like their coffee, or their favorite character on Game of Thrones is just exciting and wonderful and full of joy when they’re so much like yourself. Beginnings are okay and endings suck. It’s the bits in between that’s the good stuff and I’m thrilled that I get to share my middle with you, because the climax of a story is much more exciting than the introduction and resolution. So, that’s what I’m promising on, Dan. I’m promising on our climax.” Dan snorted as Nation laughed as well, not having noticed her innuendo when had written her vows. She cleared her throat before continuing on. “Because we’re not there yet, but I’m sure as hell looking forward to it.”

“Did you just give a brief English lesson in your vows,” Dan laughed.

“Fight me, Howell.”

               

 

**

 

                Tyler cleared his throat as he stood in front of the microphone with his ukulele. “Um, hi guys,” He said simply causing smiles due to his nervousness. “I remember the first time I sang this in front of Nation she looked me in the eye and said ‘you’re officially singing this for my first dance at Dan and I’s wedding.’ I’d like to let you all know, that this was at five am at Josh’s house before Panic! at the Disco was even a thought.”

                Nation turned bright red as Dan smiled and laughed with his eyes on Nation as she buried her face in his chest. His arm was wrapped around her waist, keeping her against him.

                “Also, Dan can now hold that against her for the rest of their lives… and so can Brendon now that I think about it,” Tyler laughed as Brendon burst into laughter as Ryan shook his head.

                Tyler laughed before looking back at the Way’s standing in the middle of the dance floor.

                “Congrats, Mr. and Mrs. Howell-Way. I hope someone names a street after you two. If you know the words please sing along.”

                With that Tyler began to play his ukulele and Dan spun Nation so that she was facing him, before gentle placing his hands on her waist.  She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, for once able to do it without standing on her tiptoes thanks to her heels.

“Wise men say only fools rush in But I can't help falling in love with you,” Tyler sang and within seconds dozens of people joined in as the newlyweds danced.

_Shall I stay? Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help falling in love with you?_

As the chorus began Nation couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes. She could almost pick out every voice. Tyler’s rang out over them all, but with so many musicians in the room, no one was shy when it came to singing. There were a number of voices that stood out: Patrick, Brendon, Andy, Juliet, Billie, Gerard, Frank, Ray, and most importantly Dan.

Nation couldn’t help but do nothing but stare, captivated by Dan’s voice as he softly sang the lyrics to the song.

 _Like a river flows_  
Surely to the sea  
Darling so we go  
Some things were meant to be

Nation finally joined in causing Dan to go silent.  
_Take my hand, take my whole life too_  
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you  
  
Like a river flows  
Surely to the sea  
Darling so we go  
Some things were meant to be  
  
Take my hand, take my whole life too  
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you  
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you  
  
But I can't help falling in love with you.

Dan smiled down at his wife before leaning in for a kiss. The Howell-Way’s smiled into the kiss, excited for their future to come.

 

 

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

 

“I _hate_ moving houses,” Dan complained as they continued to unpack boxes in their new kitchen. They had taken the house across the street from the Ross’ and neither couple could have been more thrilled to have their best friends so close once again.

“Look at it this way, Mr. Way, you get to keep me forever,” Nation smiled up at her husband from where she was putting pots and pans into the lower cabinets. Dan was putting away the plates and bowls in the upper cabinets.

“That I do, Mrs. Howell,” Dan smiled back at her causing both Ryan and Brendon to groan. They had come over to help unpack, but they had mainly just sat down at the kitchen table and watched their friends do all the work. It was their house after all.

Brendon looked towards his husband, “We weren’t this bad, right?”

“Brendon, every time you walk into the house you shout ‘honey, I’m home’ just because you can,” Ryan reminded him causing Brendon to shrug. “So, Nation, when do you leave for tour?”

“Two weeks. It’s going to be hectic at first, I’m telling you. Dad’s already on tour and now that Dad and I are about ti leave too, I think Bandit might freak out a little bit. But, she’ll be with Mikey the entire time so she should be fine… I hope.”

“What about me? I’m going to be all alone,” Dan complained and Nation gave him a blank look. “What?” He paused. “Oh, right, I’m coming with you.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Love you, too.”

 

**

 

Nation and Gerard stood side by side in the dressing room as they adjusted the colors of their suits. Gerard sported a blue suit with a red-orange tie, matching his newly died hair. Through the years, Gerard’s life has gradually become full of color whilst Nation’s has stayed the same consistent black. She wore a black on black, three piece suit with a white tie. The thing that surprised Nation the most was that when she went to dye her hair, she was oddly attracted to lilac. The color was slowly drawing her in for the first time since the Danger Days era.

Gerard adjusted his tie whilst Nation pulled her long curls into a high ponytail. Dan leant against the opposite wall, wearing one of their new t-shirts. It was of the album cover: Gerard and Nation in the outfits they were wearing now, facing each other with their pinkies wrapped around the other as if keeping a secret.

“Nervous?” Dan asked curiously from his side of the room.

“Always.”

“Hold me,” Nation said as she walked across the room to her husband. He laughed as he wrapped her in a hug, letting her bury her face in his chest.

Gerard laughed at their antics. “Ready to start a year of whatever the hell this is?”

“Nope,” Nation replied with a grin. “But, I’m gunna do it anyway and it’s going to be fucking amazing.”

She let go of Dan and went over and high fived her Dad before headed out of the dressing room to head towards the stage.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm back from the dead, no worries. I've just been caught up in school recently do to it starting again and me wanting to procrastinate every piece of homework my maths teacher has handed me. Anywho, enjoy this chapter and don't be afraid to comment what you think of it or what you think may be happening this go round.

 

_June 2015_

Nation spun around in a chair as Brendon and Ryan watched her. They were in the studio in the Ross’ backyard and Nation couldn’t be happier. Nation and Gerard’s tour had finally come to an end along with Brendon’s. They were officially in writing mode.

Brendon was playing around with the keyboard whilst Ryan listened intently, waiting for him to come across a string of notes that sounded good.

“So, what genre have we even settled on this record?” Nation asked as she continued to spin.

“Panic! at the Disco,” Ryan replied simply causing the Nation to laugh.

“A+ description.”

Ryan smiled back at the woman. “Thanks.”

“Can we finally do the Frank Sinatra thing?” Brendon asked causing the others to raise their eyebrows. “What? We all know we can do it. And we all love Sinatra. What’s wrong with a little Sinatra?”

Nation shook her head as she finally came to a stop. Although, even though she had physically stopped moving, it didn’t seem like that to her. She clutched her head as she struggled to see straight.

“What do we have so far anyway?” Ryan asked.

“Uh, Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time,” Brendon answered as he grabbed a notebook and began to flip through it. “Victorious, House of Memories, and Golden Days.”

“And Impossible Year,” Nation added causing Brendon’s brow to furrow. “I wrote it years ago. I’ve got a rough mix of it somewhere that you can listen to. Ryan’s heard it before. We already decided that it’s going on the record. I kind of wanted that one to myself, though.”

Brendon shrugged. “I mean, yeah sure. As long as it flows with the rest of the album… as soon as we write the rest of the album.”

Ryan snapped his fingers, pointing at his husband as he looked at Nation. “He makes a point.”

Nation’s phone rang and she grabbed it off the desk to see Dan was calling. She answered, placing him on speaker, “What up, my dude?”

“Dinner will be done in like five minutes. Yes, you two are invited. I made stir fry,” Dan’s voice traveled through the speaker and the Rosses high fived each other. The best part of living across the street from your best friends was that you ate dinner at the other’s house every other night.

“I swear, we live off stir fry.”

“Better than starving.”

“Point made.”

 

**

 

“The label asked if we could manage to put out a single before September,” Ryan informed the others as they all sat around the Howell’s kitchen table while they ate. Dan’s brow furrowed. Even after knowing Nation for so long, he still didn’t quite understand the music industry. How could someone give an artist a deadline for a piece of work? Shouldn’t they be given all the time they need?

“I mean, we could always go ahead and use Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time,” Nation shrugged. “Get it out earlier to show that Ryan and I are back in.”

“What about Hallelujah ?” Brendon suggested. “We could go in and rerecord it and just have you two on backing vocals. I’ve already got this sick idea for a video.”

“Details would be lovely,” Nation replied and Ryan nodded in agreement.

“Okay, so it would like start off with me sitting in a confessional,” Brendon began causing the three adults sitting next to him to snort. He gave them a look before continuing. “It’s supposed to like show how music is basically our religion. You know, like we used to joke about in the early days.”

Nation laughed. “It still scares me that we could say early days. Makes it sound like we’re like fifty.”

“Who knows, we could end up like Green Day and just never hit a low point in our career,” Ryan laughed causing Nation to roll her eyes.

“That’s be great, but you know, Green Day hasn’t done anything in five years.”

It was Dan’s turn to roll his eyes. “They put out three albums at once. Give ‘em a break.”

Ryan snapped his fingers, pointing towards Dan, “He makes a point.”

“Anyway, so it’s that and then it cuts to us three. But like, you two would be like in cloak things with hoods to hide your faces. Then it’d be like me following you two through this jigsaw like place where the paths move on their own and you can walk up walls basically. The entire time y’all keep getting away from me causing the paths moving and then at the end it comes to a place where there’s two doorways and this fucking abyss between them. Y’all are on the other side of me and motioning for me to come on and when I jump it turns out there was actually a path there and then bam, end of video.”

Nation and Ryan pondered his idea as Dan looked at him with a confused expression. “How long have you been thinking about this?” He asked.

Brendon smiled sheepishly, showing that he had had this idea longer than they wanted to know.

 

**

 

“I wonder what they’re going to think,” Brendon pondered out loud just before the Hallelujah video was uploaded that August.

“They’ll probably joke about the confessional and then try and figure out who the fuck the people in the capes are,” Ryan shrugged.

Nation titled her head to the side as she thought. “Probably. I mean, the only thing they’ve got going for them is that I was wearing a dress and you were in a suit… actually that doesn’t really give them anything. We ended it with Brendon grabbing your hood and then him having a shocked face but I mean like could also meaning anything… I should stop thinking about this and just stalk Tumblr in an hour.”

They trio sat in silence as they waited for the comments to start rolling in. Most said _ASDFGHJKL_ or _once again I will shove everything he does up my ass._ Nation laughed as she saw a few more colorful ones.

_Why did they swear to shake it up? Why did we swear to listen? Idk but I sure as hell regret nothing._

_Beebo, back at again with the shiny suit._

_Brendon was so shocked by whatever the fuck was under that hood that it had to have been Sinatra._

_I don’t know who those backing vocals are by but IMMA SHOVE EM SO FAR UP MY ASS THEY COME OUT OF MY EYES_

Nation pointed towards the last one causing the men to laugh as she and Ryan high-fived each other. They were just shocked that no one recognized their voice. Although, they had blended their tracks with Brendon’s backing vocals due to the man’s wide vocal range. Theories started sprouting and dozens of questions were asked, all of which the band pointed out, smiled and laughed at.

 

**

 

A week later, Dan and Nation were woken up to the sound of someone bounding up their staircase. Nation groaned and buried her face in her husband chest. After Brendon complained about how Nation had a key to the Rosses house, Nation reluctantly agreed to give him the spare key. It could come in handy after all if she or Dan ever locked themselves out of the house. But, Brendon had recently begun a habit of rushing into the house whenever he had a new idea. So, when the couple heard the sound of footsteps, they both groaned and held onto each other because their unannounced plan to sleep in until five in the afternoon had been crushed.

Brendon burst into their bedroom and flipped on the lights. Dan instinctively pulled the comforter over his head which caused his wife to become completely hidden. Brendon tilted his head to the side.

“Where’s Nation?”

“Dead,” She replied as she made Dan remove the comfortable from over her face.

“I have an idea.”

Dan groaned. “We’re done with ideas. They end up like MCR.”

Nation gave him a hurt look. “I thought we agreed not to talk about that.”

“Oh shush.”

Brendon took a few steps over to their bed and handed over a sheet of paper to Nation who reluctantly took his from his hands. She scanned over the lyrics as Brendon spoke.

“I wrote it for Ryan but I figured we could sing it as a duet. I’ve got all the instrumentals done already and Ryan just left this morning to visit his parents. We’ve got the weekend to track the vocals. Please, please, please, _please_ , do this with me,” Brendon pleaded, getting down on his knees as he clasped his hands together, begging.

“I have to admit,” Dan spoke up, “I never thought I’d see Brendon on his knees in front of me.”

Nation smacked his arm playfully, but laughed nonetheless.

“Let Dan and I get breakfast,” Nation told her best friend. “I’ll be over later so that we can work on this.”

Brendon grinned ear to ear before leaning over Dan to press a kiss to Nation’s cheek. “Thank you!” He then kissed Dan’s cheek as well. “And thank you!”

“What’d I do?” The Brit asked.

“You’re letting me steal your wife for the weekend.”

“That’s true.”

 

**

 

“Jesus Christ you’ve been up to a lot,” Nation said as the instrumentals finally came to an end. Brendon had played them for her so that they could work out the vocals together.

Brendon smiled, nodding excited as he spun around in his chair. “This is going to be fucking awesome. Hopefully it’ll end in presents.”

Nation’s brow furrowed before the joke dawned her and she rolled her eyes. “I like the title: Death of a Bachelor. Has a nice ring to it… what if it was the title track?”

“That’d be amazing,” Brendon grinned, “Kind of works out because all three of us got married too. Oh god, I can’t wait until they find out that Ryan and I are married. At least you can walk around with Dan and not have to worry about people finding out about you.”

Nation shrugged. “Nothing is stopping you from telling the fans except your desire to see them flip shit.”

“Yes, but it’s going to be fucking entertaining as hell.”

“Come on. Let’s just work on these vocals. It’s gunna take forever to get all the harmonies just right not to mention the arguments we’re going to have over them, as always,” Nation said and Brendon groaned. “Seriously? You were the one that wanted my help.”

“Yeah, yeah. That doesn’t mean I want to argue over backing vocals again. God, recording Hallelujah was hell,” Brendon complained causing his best friend to roll her eyes.

“I’ll text Dan and request a pizza and a bottle of scotch.”

“I thought you didn’t drink?” Nation gave him a look and his mouth formed an o. “Pizza’s for you and the scotch is for me, right?”

Nation smiled. “Bingo!”

 

**

 

“Death, death, death,” Nation chanted as she spun around in her chair in the studio. Brendon sat on the floor with his guitar in his lap and Ryan sat in a chair a few feet away from him with his own. “How the _fuck_ are we going to finish this? Like, how? We have a fucking deadline and we’re like four songs short of what we _should_ have because Stand Alone and Pinkish sound too much like MCR and we all know we can’t do that because people would flip shit. Hell, _I’d_ flip shit.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “You’re stressing again. Take a breath. Eat some pizza.”

Nation groaned before leaning over to the desk and grabbing a slice of pizza out of the box. She bit into it as she glared at Ryan. “I hate you,” She mumbled through a mouthful of food causing Brendon to laugh and Ryan to cringe.

Nation continued spinning around in her chair before her eyes settled on a box in the corner of the room. She stood up and instantly grabbed the desk to her left to keep herself from stumbling forward. She instantly regretted spinning around in the chair. The girl shook her head heading over to the box and picking it before returning to the desk. She set the box down in her lap as she opened it.

A smile played on her lips at its contents. It was the photos from the first photo shoot that they had together. She flipped through them, smiling at the memories.

“Do you remember these?” She asked as pulled the photo’s out and passed them to Ryan. They smiled as they looked at them.

“Yeah. That day was a lot of fun,” Ryan smiled. “Didn’t the Oreo lady do these?”

Nation nodded happily. “I love her. She’s always so nice.”

“We blasted Linkin Park as we took these. It was great,” Brendon said after he stood up to lean over his husband’s shoulder. “Oh my god that one is my all-time favorite. Can we hang that up in the house?”

Brendon pointed at the familiar photo of Nation standing between a fighting Brendon and Ryan as Jon and Spencer held them back. They appeared so much younger than they were now, still teenagers in the photos. They were still living in that shitty apartment in Maryland when those were taken.  Now, they were all married adults with actual houses.

“I wonder what Jon’s up to,” Ryan spoke curiously causing Nation to shrug.

“He’s probably curled up on his couch with his wife. That wouldn’t surprise me,” Nation spoke with a shrug. “But, these still show that we did it.”

Ryan’s brow furrowed. “How?”

“I mean, we survived: the good, the bad, the dirty. Even if Spence and Jon aren’t in the band anymore, we’re still here. None of us hate each other. Hell, you two are fucking married! There isn’t anything stopping us anymore,” Nation spoke with a smile on her face causing Ryan and Brendon to share a loving smile before Nation paused. “Except maybe writers block. Seriously, this is killing me.”

“What about the good, the bad, and the dirty,” Brendon said suddenly and Nation raised her eyebrows. “What? It sounds good. I think I might be onto something.” He grabbed a notebook and began to scribble words causing Nation to smile and laugh. It’s funny how just a simple phrase could trigger something like this.

 

**

 

“Okay, so the ultimate question is, do we release the Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time video before or after we release the album?” Ryan asked as the Rosses and Howell-Ways sat around the kitchen table at the Ross’ house. They had ordered Chinese that night and were planning on having a marathon of the Walking Dead later that night.

“What if we release the video like an hour before the album?” Brendon suggested causing Nation to wear a wicked grin.

“That’s cruel.”

“And it’s gunna be funny as shit,” Dan chimed in causing laughter. “Seriously, I can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions to this. The album’s _so_ good. Like seriously, I could shove this shit up my ass if I felt needed to.”

Nation rolled her eyes as she stifled her laughter. Brendon and Ryan shared a quick look before snorting and bursting into laughter. That caused Nation to break and soon everyone was laughing as Dan once again regretted opening his mouth and letting whatever come out.

 

**

 

“This is a fucking struggle,” Nation mumbled as tried to zip up the back of her crimson dress. It was strapless and just barely covered her bottom. She paired it was a pair of black stilettos and Brendon laughed because she finally came up over his shoulders.

“I can see that,” Ryan laughed from next to her as he quickly finished button up his white dress shirt. He then stood behind her and quickly helped her zip up her dress.

The pair were in Brendon and Ryan’s bedroom as they got ready for the video shoot. They were shooting at both the Ross’ and Way’s house due to it not only behind cost effective but it giving the fans a few more fun facts about what they had been keeping from them.

“Yo, Ryan, which pair should I wear,” Brendon asked as he walked out of their walk in closest holding up two different colored pairs of boxers. Nation cringed at the sight of her exposed friend.

“Black.”

Brendon nodded before slipping them on and forgetting the other pair by throwing it behind him as he laughed. “What are you turning red for? Not like we haven’t seen each other naked before.”

“Brendon, it’s been fucking years. I haven’t seen anyone’s bare ass beside my own and Dan’s in a bloody long time,” Nation replied as she shook her head.

“Ha, you embarrassed her,” Ryan pointed out, “she slipped back into the London accent.”

“Fight me,” Nation replied deadpan, her voice returning to her Jersey accent. She seemed to always bounce between a British and Jersey accent now. It all depended on the situation: who she was talking to, her mood, ect. Let’s just say it’s interesting to hear her speak to Dan formally one moment before turning to Brendon and dropping half the syllables in a several words.

Brendon laughed before heading to the door. “Come on. We gotta get filming. Gotta show the world we’re still best friends!”

 

***

 

“Who are these people? I just woke up in my underwear. No liquor left on the shelf. I should probably introduce myself,” Brendon sang as he sat up on the floor in the Way’s living room. A few people were scattered about the room either pretending to be dazed or asleep.

The scene cut to the back yard where Nation and Ryan were leant against each other, back to back. Ryan’s shirt was askew and Nation was missing a shoe. There were footprints in the muddy ground made by her heels. Her missing shoe was still stuck in the mud. Ryan sang, leanind his head back as if he were singing to Nation, “You shoulda seen what I wore. I had a cane and a party hat. I was the king of this hologram. Where there's no such thing as getting out of hand.”

Nation rubbed her eyes and blinked hard as she sang the next line. “Memories tend to just pop up, drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves, five-thousand people with designer drugs,” She shook her head in annoyance, “Don't think I'll ever get enough.

It then cut to Brendon as he staggered out the backdoor of the house, following Nation’s muddy shoe prints, looking confused by the odd shape left by the heels. They almost resembled those of a bird.

“What are these footprints?” Ryan sang his two lines, “They don't look very human like.”

Brendon continued to follow the foot prints as Ryan and Nation stood to their feet, Ryan leaning on the shorter woman for support., “Now I wish that I could find my clothes, bed sheets and a morning rose.” Brendon and Nation locked eyes, just two feet away from each other as he finished his line

“I wanna wake up,” Nation sang, “Can't even tell if this is a dream.”

“How did we end up in my neighbor's pool, upside down with a perfect view?” Ryan continued, looking around.

“Bar to bar at the speed of sound.”

“Fancy feet dancing through this town.”

“Lost my mind in a wedding gown.”

“Don't think I'll ever get it now.”

The chorus played as the trio staggered back into the house, saying a few words to the other hungover messes that littered the space around them. They made it back into the house and into the kitchen where Dan had just walked in. He handed both boys a bottle of water and a bottle of meds.

Ryan sang, looking at Dan as if to explain himself. “I'm a scholar and a gentleman and I usually don't fall when I try to stand.”

Dan looked towards Brendon before looking directly down at the pair of heels Brendon was wearing. “I lost a bet to a guy in a Chiffon skirt, but I make these high heels work.”

“I've told you time and time again,” Ryan continued, “I'm not as think as you drunk I am.”

Brendon and Ryan harmonized the next lines together, “And we all fell down when the sun came up.”

Nation laughed as she sang alone, “I think we've had enough.”

The final chorus rang out as the video cut to the band sat around the kitchen table smiling and laughing together before Dan finally joined them, wrapping an arm around Nation and pressing a kiss to her temple. Brendon and Ryan smiled at them before finally looking at each other. The Way’s rolled their eyes as Brendon leaned in to give Ryan a sloppy kiss. The final note rang out just before the video cut to black.

Fans were crying as they watched the video. Some were laughing, others were screaming. Some were staring with their jaws wide opened, unable to produce some sort of coherent response to what they just witnessed. This was all going on as Panic! at the Disco opened a bottle of champagne – or in Nation’s case, sparkling cider – and celebrated the official return of Ryan Ross and Nation Howell-Way.


	10. Chapter 10

 

The next few weeks went by like a blur as the album finally dropped. Brendon, Ryan, and Nation were scrambling to deal with interviews and touring plans. Dan was being bombarded with questions about the band; he couldn’t do an internet support group or Q&A without there being questions about it. Even with all the chaos they were now thrown into they couldn’t be more relieved. The album was well received and people were ecstatic. The band didn’t have to worry about no one liking it and finally got to relax…sort of.

Each band member’s week was spent flying out for interviews in all sorts of places. The only issue was that they were never together, although they viewed it as a perk. Interviews with each other always end up in information being leaked, so staying away from each other during interviews was best. Well, except Brendon. The man had leaked the entire album for goodness sake.

“Daaaaaaaan,” Nation whined as she struggled to fix the red tie around her neck. She had stolen it from her father a while back, shortly after the revenge era, which she currently appeared to be resorting back too. The woman was standing in front of the mirror in the master bath as she tried to get ready for the video she was going to film with Dan.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaat?” Her husband mocked her tone. Dan was currently in the browsing position as he waited for his wife to finish getting dressed. He had expected her to continue her new trend of filming Youtube videos in her pajamas, but it seems she was trying to keep her aesthetic when presented to the world due to the new album.

“Will you help me tie this? I’m bloody awful at it,” She slipped into her British accent as she exited the bathroom and came into the bedroom. Her eyes settled onto her husband before a sigh escaped her lips. Leave it to Dan to procrastinate setting up his equipment.

A smile danced on Dan’s lips as he set his Macbook aside and stood to his feet. He crossed the room as he spoke, “I love when you do that.”

“Do what?”

Nation’s hands dropped to her sides as Dan reached her. His chocolate eyes rested on the fabric between his large hands as he tied it. “When you speak as if we’re back in London.” Her head tilted to the side when he said that. “It takes me back to when it was just us in that tiny flat in London, just right after you started slipping up and speaking as if you were a native.”

“Why?” Nation groaned. “You used to make fun of me because I’d say words like back in Jersey but then others as if I were from London. It was bloody awful.”

“I’m aware. But it was cute. Just reminded me of how much time you spend around me. You even say literally like me.”

“Fight me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I love you too much.”

“So?”

“I only want to fight you between the sheets.”

Nation gave him a flat look and Dan only grinned before leaning down to peck her lips.

“Come on,” Dan said, “Set up the camera while I fix the lighting in here.”

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know.”

 

 

**

 

“Hello, Internet. Sorry for not making a video in the last like… eight months,” Dan paused before looking away from the camera and letting out a sigh as he reminded himself at how terrible he actually was with keeping up with his job. “Sorry. Anyway, I’m back and that’s all that matter, right?” He laughed nervously.

Nation giggled from off camera causing a smile to become plastered across Dan’s face.

“You all probably recognized that gorges laugh,” Dan spoke towards the camera as Nation rolled her eyes before plopping down onto the bed next to Dan. She smile and waved at the camera.

“Hello, peasants,” Nation greeted and Dan gave her a sideways glance. She paused before making eye contact with him. “Sorry. Wrong channel.”

“When was the last time you even made a video?”

Nation gave him a flat look, “Love, I’ve spent the last nine months writing an album for the first time in years. Cut me some fucking slack,” She them turned back towards the camera, “Which brings us to today’s topic: me.”

Dan laughed as he grabbed his phone off the space beside him. He quickly unlocked it before going to the notes section to bring up the endless questions he had written and gotten from fans.

“You’re forgetting something really important, though,” Dan reminded her causing Nation’s brow to furrow. “You know, the rest of your bloody band.”

That was when Brendon and Ryan ran into shot and sat down beside Nation. Brendon had his arm secured around his husband’s waist and soon Dan was copying his actions with his wife.

“Please welcome, Panic! at the Disco!” Dan said excited grinning ear to ear. “Hello, guys. For those who may not know, this is Brendon and Ryan Ross and Nation Howell-Way. It’s so nice to meet you guys and have you in my house.”

“Dan, we’re married,” Nation spoke dead-pan.

“We live across the street,” Ryan added.

“We were in each other’s weddings,” Brendon raised an eyebrow as Dan’s brow furrowed.

Dan titled his head to the side. “I don’t remember meeting any of you before. Must have known a different Dan.”

The band all sighed as Dan burst into uncontainable laughter, filling the room with his hyena laugh.

“Can we just get on with the questions?” Nation requested.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I have no idea. I just like getting you round up.”

“Daniel James,” Nation snapped at him causing Brendon to snort as Ryan laughed, burying his face in the crook of Brendon’s neck.

“Nation Michelle Helena,” Dan snapped back, “See? I can do that too.”

“We’re not getting pizza tonight.”

Dan’s face morphed into one of horror. “Wha- Nation! That’s the worst thing you could do to me!”

“I’m aware.”

Dan wrapped his rams around her waist and pulled her closer to him as he buried his face in her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I love you, I swear. I was just playing around.”

Nation couldn’t help but laugh as she pulled away from him. “And so was I, you dimwit.”

“You’re terrible.”

“I know.”

Brendon and Ryan exchanged smiled as they shook their heads at their best friends.

 

**

 

“So, we’re still getting pizza, right?” Dan asked as he turned off the camera.

“Yeah, but they’re buying,” Nation said as she pointed a figure towards the Rosses. She tugged off the tie around her neck and undid a the buttons of her shirt before letting it fall away. She pulled off her skinny jeans before slipping on a pair of Dan’s old gym shorts, leaving her in only those and a sports bra. Ryan unbuttons a few buttons on her shirt after loosening his tie.

“Shit,” Dan and Brendon said at the same time. Ryan and Nation looked towards their spouses before looking towards each other.

“Okay, I can get you,” Ryan said, “but what the fuck did I do to get that?”

Nation shrugged her shoulders in response before heading towards the door leading to the hallway. Ryan shook his head before following her out.

Brendon looked towards Dan a couple seconds after they left. “Dude, what even is your wife?”

“I could ask the same thing about your husband.”

 

**

 

A few hours after pizza, Brendon and Ryan resorted back to their own home and Nation and Dan curled up in bed next to each other. This time however, Dan was curled up next to Nation with his head on her chest as she typed away on her Macbook. She had countless emails to go through and she hadn’t even gone through the last schedule her tour manager had sent her about interviews. Dan’s eyes had been settled on the screen but every so often would drift back up to Nation’s face.

That was until Dan winced in pain.

Nation brow furrowed as she looked down at him. “You alright, love?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine… that or I’m dying. Not to sure yet,” Dan said as he slowly sat up in bed before only wincing again and lying back down. “Bloody hell, it feels like I’ve been fucking shot.”

“Where?” Nation asked instantly as she moved her laptop aside. Dan’s hand moved over his stomach causing his wife to sigh. “If I’m right, your appendix just burst.”

“AND YOU’RE JUST GUNNA ACT CASUAL ABOUT THAT?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nation said as she climbed out of bed. “Get in the car I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

Dan nodded as Nation came over to his side of the bed and helped him out. He didn’t bother to put shoes on but Nation managed to slip on a pair of flip flops. She helped him into the car before rushing around to the driver’s side. As the car moved swiftly down the street, Dan sat curled up in his seat, clutched his stomach.

“How the fuck are you so calm?” Dan asked through gritted teeth.

“Because I know for a fact that the pain you’re experiencing is almost about the equivalent of a period cramp. I’ve had cramps worse than the pain your feeling right now,” Nation said and Dan’s eyes widened.

“You do this every month?! What the fuck did women do to deserve this?!”

Nation laughed as she shrugged her shoulders.

“So, you’re calm because I’m in pain?”

“Oh no,” Nation replied. “Me, my dad, uncle, and ray all had our appendixes removed during revenge. Don’t know how we all managed to have it happen within eight months but it happened. You’re not going to die as long as I get you to the hospital. Besides, I went a week before noticing the pain wasn’t going away.”

“Christ woman.”

 

**

 

A few hours later, Nation sat asleep in a chair next to Dan’s bedside. Brendon and Ryan knocked on the door causing her to stir. Turning her head she locked eyes with her best friend’s before they settled onto the coffee in their hands.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” She spoke as Ryan handed her the expresso. The boys thought they were talking to them before continued to speak as he stared at the warm cup in her hands. “I love you so much. Never leave me again.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t have a tattoo for Starbucks at this point,” Brendon laughed before sitting himself in a nearby chair. Ryan shook his head, ruffled Nation’s messy hair and sat himself in Brendon’ lap.

“How is he?” Ryan asked as Brendon slipped his arms around his husband’s waist.

Nation sipped her coffee before replying. “He’s fine. If a way, he’s officially a Way.” Ryan laughed as Brendon’s brow furrowed, obviously not knowing the story behind her words. “Glad it happened now rather than later, would have been harder to deal with if we had been on the tour bus.”

“That’s true. He gunna be good by the time we leave next week?”

Nation shook her head as her eyes stayed on Dan’s unconscious form. The heart monitor continued its steady beeping and even though she knew he was perfectly fine, Nation couldn’t help but worry that the beeping would become a steady note.

“No. I was going to call Spencer and ask if he’d watch out for him until he could fly out to wherever we are.”

“He’ll be okay,” Ryan assured her.

“I know,” Nation replied whilst swirling her coffee, “Doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to worry.”

                “Isn’t the same girl who was completely calm as her husband was basically dying a few hours ago,” Brendon joked as he rested her chin on Ryan shoulder. Nation shot him a cold look causing him to instantly shut up and Ryan to chuckle.

                “We’ll figure this out, Nation. Don’t stress yourself.

                But, of course, Howell-Way stressed herself and forced Dan to stay with Spencer and Linda until he was well enough to travel with the band. As much as he complained, he was thankful he’d get a decent meal that wasn’t take out or stir-fry.

 

**

 

                “Nation, you need to stop fussing. He’s a grown man,” Brendon said as he eyes the woman’s phone as she typed. They were on the couch on the tour bus, having just left yesterday. Brendon had Ryan curled up on one side of him and Nation on the other. Ryan had fallen asleep a few hours ago accompanied by Brendon’s arm, but the man just couldn’t bring himself to stir his husband.

                Nation sighed as she dropped her phone into her lap before burying her face into Brendon’s chest. “I know. I’m just worried though cos I know the next two weeks at least are going to be a fucking bitch for him and I _always_ worry about Dan because, well, he’s Dan. He can’t even sit in a chair without falling over and hurting himself. And just,” She sighed, “You’re right. I need to stop.”

                Brendon smiled before taking her phone from her lap and tossing it onto his opposite side away from her. “We’ll start with that. Now, you’re going to go to bed and I’m going to attempt to carry Ryro to bed without dropping him.”

                “Why would you drop him?”

                “Because my left arm is completely asleep thanks to him.”

                “RIP Brendon’s arm 2k16,” Nation joked as she stood to her feet. “Don’t drop your husband. He won’t appreciate it.”

                Brendon shot her a glare as she walked back to the bunks. “Don’t fuss over your husband like he’s your child. He won’t appreciate it.”

                “I hate you.”

                “Love you too,” He grinned.

 

**

 

                Nation stood in between Ryan and Brendon with their hands clutched in theirs as they grinned in front of the screaming crowd before raising their hands and taking one final bow. They smiled and waved as they ran off stage before Brendon went off to talk to Dallon about something in the dressing room.

                “Wanna just head back to the bus instead? I’m whooped and I already know there aren’t showers at this venue,” Ryan said as he gestured towards the back exit after handing his guitar off to one of the crew members.

                “Sounds good to me. I’ve got to call Dan anyway, check in for the night,” Nation replied with a nod.

                The pair made their way to the bus, typed in the password to open the door, and proceed to collapse in their bunks. That was when Nation’s phone rang. She groaned causing Ryan to as well.

                “I don’t care if it’s the fucking president. Ignore it,” Ryan snapped irritably.

                Nation grabbed her phone and rolled her eyes at her step-father’s name before promptly pressing decline. “He can get over himself. I’m tired…he left a message.”

                “So?”

                “Frank doesn’t leave messages,” Nation said as she quickly called Frank back. He wouldn’t leave a message unless it was important and she wasn’t about to find out what it was through the message. “Hey, Dad. What’s up?”

                Ryan watched as the color drained from his best friends face.

                “Did he leave anything?”

                Nation slowly sat up in her bunk and Ryan copied her actions just as Brendon came onto the bus laughing about something before calling out to Ryan and Nation, something about smoking a joint before leaving a state where it’s legal.

                “Okay. I…I’ll see if I can fly out tomorrow morning…yeah, I love you too, Frankie. Tell Bandit I love her too…yeah, yeah, I know…Bye, love you.”

                Brendon came back into the bunks and noticed the concerned look of his husband and the blank stare Nation was giving him.

                “Woah. What’d I miss?”

                A tear slid down Nation’s cheek as her chest began to rise and fall faster than before as he fought back a sob. “My dad’s dead. Frank found him when he got home.”


	11. Chapter 11: The End

                “People keep asking how I’m doing, if I need anything, if I’m okay,” Nation spoke in front of the small crowd of people. Her back was to the casket that she couldn’t bear to face. She wanted it invisible, nonexistent. She wanted her father standing next to her and telling her it was all just some sort of sick joke and for a while she truly thought it was. That was until she saw the tears in Frank and Mikey’s eyes when she got home to Jersey.

                “The truth is,” Nation continued her eyes focusing on Dan. It scared her to look anywhere else, “I’m not okay… I promise.”

                The caused a chorus of light laughter.

                “We’re all sitting in this room forty years too soon. Hell, I didn’t think I’d ever see this group of people all in the same room. But, here we are,” Nation took a deep breath. “My dad was more than just my dad. He was my pillow, my shoulder to cry on… my best friend. He was always there for me when I needed him most and did nothing but worry about me constantly. I’m not sure why though. I spent most of my time worrying about him.”

                Nation broke her gaze with her husband to look towards the only other person that was worthy to be called her father.

                “Frankie… Dad…. Dad couldn’t have fallen in love with anyone better than you. I’m sure you’re well aware on how much he loved you. But, now that he’s gone, I can tell you that he used to stay up at night on the phone with me and talk endlessly about you like a teenage girl talking about the cute senior in her biology class. God, I’d kill for one of those nights again.”

                Frank couldn’t help but smile through his tears as he imaged Gerard laying on their bed on the phone with his daughter talking endlessly about him.

                Nation’s eyes went back to the floor as she kicked at the floors. “My Dad used to talk endlessly about comics and music… about how much he loved Doom Patrol and David Bowie. I used to listen to him talk about it when I was little as he made his coffee only to spill it all over himself. I miss those days. I miss…”

                Nation turned on her heels and looked at her father’s pale body lying in the casket. She never wanted to see it but it was the only way she could get out the words.

                “I miss you, Daddy. I love you so much.”

                She swallowed a sob before quickly returning to her seat next to Dan. He wrapped an arm around her as she leaned into his chest and let the tears fall. Mikey stood up from his seat next to Frankie and made his way to the front of the room.

                “My brother was a fucking dick,” He reminded Gerard’s friends and family causing small smiles. “But, he was our fucking dick and we loved him. We still do. We used to stay up together and listen to Iron Maiden and pretend to have adventures in our room where we shot laser guns and fought aliens. I may not have him watching back anymore but I know he’ll always be with me in a way. He’ll be with all of us. Just like he said, his memory will carry on.”

 

**

 

                Dan and Nation sat their luggage down in the foyer of their house and Nation couldn’t help but still be sad. Her father was gone and she couldn’t do anything about it. Dan gave her a sad look before leaning down to press a kiss to her lips. It took her a moment to respond, as if she wasn’t there for a moment. Dan pulled away and looked down at her with worried eyes.

                “There’s something bugging you, besides the obvious.”

                “I didn’t even get to tell him the good news… I was going to tell him the day I got the call,” Nation’s voice was barely audible as she looked at the floor.

                Dan wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “What was it?”

                Nation took a breath as she moved Dan’s hands back to her front and rested them on her stomach. Her eye’s met his as she said the words Dan didn’t even know he wanted to hear.

                “I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, that's a rap ladies and gentlemen and variations thereof. Hope you had fun with this shit storm. I haven't decided whether or not to stop the series here of not so just keep checking back with my profile to see if I have. As always don't be afraid to let me know what you think. And, again, as always I haven't edited this at all and I'm still not sure if their will be a day when I finally will. whoops


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